Dear Jared...

Dear Jared,
I don't know what you think. I don't know what to say, or even if I should say anything. I don't know, and that's the problem. I want to talk to you. I want to be able to say something to you, anything, and you'd look at me smile. I love that smile really. It's so cute. Haha. You're incredibly handsome, and I don't understand how people don't see that. Maybe it's because you're kind of tiny. But you're pretty tall. And those broad shoulders... sigh. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could've done something to make it different because I know now that I could've. I wish you would've have waited for me... to you know; be okay. I wish you didn't have to ignore me now. I don't know how you're thinking of me. Or rather, of us. I'm too scared to say anything.

I'm sorry, Jared. I'm so sorry. I want to be with you, I do. I want you to understand me... I hate hate hate this awkwardness. I know I didn't tell you what was going on. I'm sorry I didn't but how could I? "Oh, yeah, so my brother is missing, I have a gaping whole in need of unconditional love, and my mom abandoned me." A real turn on right? Sigh...

I just want to be back together now that I know... I want to just... sigh. I love you. I'm not IN LOVE with you but I care about you. I wish you'd just come back. But I can only wish so much.

I really do like your smile though. I like seeing you happy. I guess do whatever you can to be happy. If that means moving schools or being away from me, then okay... whatever works...

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