So we play this game: Im literally the only person in our surrounding that he showed interest for but did not give in to him. That doesn't mean that I don't want him, on the contrary, I do. It is clear to everyone who looks at us that there is great tension between us, that there is mutual kind of attraction, and that we both would gladly bang one another. They also know that we are great friends that do flirt a lot, that call each other love at all times, that kiss and hug and cuddle regularly, we are friends that at the same time keep that small distance: we have never had s** ever.
He wants me and I know it, I want him and he can tell. He also knows that Im not gonna give in to it, at least not easily. Its been like this tense for around 3 years now. Whats stopping me from being with him, whats stopping me from f****** with him till the dawn breaks? Maybe the fact that Im a virgin and he is a loverboi, the fact that we are friends and changing that might forever break us apart, basically whole bunch of reasons. Sometimes I feel like I think too much, but would we still be here for each other had we acted differently?
A little detail that bothers me lately is that sometimes when we get too close, when he kisses me and calls me love, I get into it that I start feeling things for him. I have been in this situation before but I overcame it successfully, I hope I will overcome it again, and love him less.



Jan 14, 2013

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  • You don't say how old you are. So, going to guess that you are both in high school? Sure, you've known him for 3 years..but you don't want to have a guy take your virginity and just walk. And you say he's a player, so chances are he's not ready to be in a committed relationship. And how many other girls is he flirting with? sleeping with? And if you just give in, where does that leave you? Will it be "whatever happens, happens?" or will you want more? The flirting and sexual tension can be fun, but hold out because you're worth more then just a one time thing. Because without a relationship, you may be entering into an NSA relationship which rarely leads to a committed relationship. You'll be attached and then it will just leave you empty and hurt. Best bet for you.. enjoy the flirting, but keep your head on straight and keep your options open. If you really like this guy (or any guy), hold out for a relationship..and still don't give it up for a couple of months. Will the friendship change? It already has.. it's certainly not platonic. Again, don't just give it away just wait until you're in a relationship. And be sure you both use birth control.

  • I appreciate your reply :) thank you so much.

    Its a weird situation because, first ALL THE GIRLS love him, because he is nice to everyone and he is cute. However he is flirty only around me in our circle of friends, everyone know that, its like a common fact. One other thing that we all know (when I say we I mean all of our friends) is that he has many girls and he gets a lot of girls. We are all quite open about everything, so when he gets a girl for a night I will somehow hear about it. Either I will ask him and he will tell or someone else will tell, and so on. He knows I never had anyone before, and sometimes he even jokes like: you know baby I can always be your first. He at the same time knows that from my part its IMPOSSIBLE because I wont give in. Basically he thinks that I quite like him but not so much to sleep with him (he does not know about my doubts and secret wishes)
    We are friends, yes, but my fears are exactly those: what if I do it and then he leaves? What if I lose a friend a boyfriend a virginity and a flirt? It can all happen.

    So I guess Im left with waiting for a relationship.

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