Advice? Do I forgive him?
So this guy is two years older than me, and we are both intellectually above our generation to say the least. We like the same jokes, movies, bands, everything. He's got a few flaws, some bigger than others, but I don't really care. We're not dating, but he's asked me out 46 times (we counted) and I've said no. I don't even know why I say no anymore.
I was raped, molested, and abused for years when I was younger (by older brothers), and now at almost 16 I have to live with my abusers. I am innocent of everything though. I hate myself so much though. He understood my past though, and was also molested at around 12 by a sibling. Before he said that, I couldn't believe how perfect he was, because he was obviously way out of my league. He's better looking than me, to say the LEAST.
One day, I learned that when he was touched by a sibling, a bit after that he started molesting/forcing one of his much much younger sisters. He stopped about a year ago. I told him I forgive him (although it's not my place), and he shouldn't feel so bad about it and all... But I don't really know what I mean, or how I should feel. I stopped cutting because of him, but I'm close to starting again. I hate myself more than anything, but I love him more than anything. And he loves me. Almost every day he says terrible things he would do if I did ever leave him, and I get it.
How should I feel?
Should I actually forgive him?
What should I do?
Anything you have to say, I am grateful for :(