My Obsession with my sister in law..
I can't tell anyone in my life, so I may as well tell the internet.
I used to be obsessed with my sister in law, my one brothers wife..and the better word may be infatuated. For one I always thought she was attractive, she had meat on her bones, but to the normal person she may not be the ideal woman, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I think it really started is she used to mildly flirt. While they were talking about blow jobs, she had mentioned that I wouldn't last one minute from one of her blow jobs, this was said even in front of my brother, they acted like it was just part of conversation, but I think this started to stick with my more.
It progressed from there. It started to just masturbating to thoughts of her. It kicked up when I started taking pictures of her on my cell phone. Her bending over, or her just laying around in a way I found good enough to get me off. At one point, I had found a nude picture of her (it was on her phone), and I sent this to myself. I really had no boundries.
Over the years, the flirting died down at first, but one vacation, picked up a little, and this one I had no idea how to determine what it was, whether it was flirting or she was just joking with me. It was just me and her swimming, and she touched me with her foot right on my thigh, sort of but not really close to my privates, and she gave me a come hither look. Then she laughed it off. Minutes later we were talking about floating on top of water, and she said her butt was too heavy to float. She asked for help floating, and asked me too lift her up, but to do so from her ass, so she basically asked me to touch her ass. I'm sure some of this was harmless, I don't really know. I was late teens, she was in her early 30s.
The one thing I really feel guilty about and needed to confess about were things that happened when my brother was on a business trip. Sis in law and myself hung and went drinking, I was a little too drunk to drive so she said it would be alright if I stayed over. There was another bed, but she said I could just sleep in bed with her. I did, and in my state, and with how obsessed I was with her, I took this as an opportunity. While she was sleeping, I groped her, felt her ass and t***, and I jerked off. I felt like s*** about this, but it honestly didn't stop me. The next morning she was cheery, but asked if I slept alright, I said yes, and she had mentioned she felt some weird movements, but she said she figured I was tossing and turning, I don't really know if she knew or not.
The more and more I continued with this stuff, the more it tore me apart. I often cleared out all of pictures I had of her, but then I just took new ones. I almost made a move when I found out my brother had been unfaithful. It was during this point I almost thought that my feelings were real, not just obsession. These thoughts didn't last long, given what I've done, I knew what my feelings were, I just wanted to f*** her. It took me getting a girlfriend to get rid of these thoughts. And since then, I haven't really had a thought since. Thinking back, I still feel something, but its not really there anymore.
I've never told anyone about this. But the one thing I wanted help figuring out is her part in this. With her actions I mentioned over the years, what do you think her thoughts were? Was she just joking around? Did she have some of the thoughts I had? I don't think she did, but I also can't read women. Most of all, I just needed to tell someone, I have never told anyone this.