I don't even know.
I'm so f***** up right now. I'm not acting like myself and sometimes I like it but sometimes, like right now, I really don't. I've turned into a s**** who has fooled around with 2 guys within a week of eachother and then made out with another guy a week later. Before these three I kissed 2 different guys who were my boyfriends and that was over the course of 2 years. What the h*** is wrong with me?! When it's happening I don't mind the male attention but when they're gone I feel like a fool. I'm basically cheating on my guy friend because we're practically dating. I think in his mind I am his girlfriend I'm just not sure if I want him to be my boyfriend. F*** me. To top it all off I have a 12 page paper I need to write but have absolutely zero desire to do so. I never used to be like this! I was quiet and got my work done. Now I go and smoke and drink with a bunch of guys I don't know and end up making out and fooling around with them. I almost want my old self back. but now I think I've gained a new reputation from some of these people. I'm the easy girl who you can make out with just for fun or have shower parties with. Like f*** me. I need to f****** focus and get my s*** together. Forget all the mistakes I've made and just move on and get myself together before I make a mistake that can't be fixed.