I live my life feeling guilty, Guilty

I live my life feeling guilty, Guilty, because, I am a married woman, I am 30 yrs old, I have a baby. I love my husband, my baby, my life, but I still have these damn dreams about someone I once loved, and is still a demon in my life. I no longer see him, He has lived in nevada for almost 3 years now, (I am in NYC), but I think of him and the times we shared. The funny thing is we were never an ITEM, we never dated, we were "best friends" who at the end of our friendship, found out there was more to it. I was getting married, and there was no way I was going to ruin my life by making the mistake of taking our "friendship" to another level. He just got up and left with out saying goodbye. How could I still think of this person, this person who didn't give a s*** enough to see me face to face and say good bye, after 12 years of friendship, he treated me like I ws nothing. I thought i deserved more then that, Steven J., I hate you for still hanging around my mind. You have always been the torn in my side, and I wish I could just forget you like you never existed, but no matter how hard I try, you still pop up in a dream, or a thought, and that is why I live with this guilt. I am happy I choose the life I am living, I hope you are doing well, GET OUT OF MY HEAD...

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  • It's not him you miss, it's the connection you shared. You probably had a deeper connection because you were "just friends" than you do your husband. It's that connection you wish you had with your husband. It was an innocent time in your life. There is no shame in looking back, as long as you return to forward. If you stay looking back, you really need help getting back on track.

  • eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.see it you will like it.

  • I bet he's thinking about you too

  • You f****** putrid w**** !

  • if you can't get someone out of your head, maybe they are supposed to be there.

  • Maybe he is thinking about you too,
    & that is why you can't get him out of your head.

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