I'm engaged to my childhood friend. He loves me more than I love him. But I am bipolar and he comes off as controlling when he looks after me. I do not wish to be married. I want commitment, but I also want to be free. I can't leave him because my 6 year old daughter loves him too much. I want to travel and focus on writing. I'm afraid of being raped again. I'm afraid of men.


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  • What a dumb b****

  • I'm sorry for what happened to you. The trauma you suffered I can not empathize but can sympathize. As a man, I feel like you have a right to do what you feel is right. However, he does love you a lot by the brief description. He seems to love your daughter as well. There are not too many grown MEN with that attitude. Though you want to be free, I will leave it on this note... What if you leave him and never find another man like him who loves you and accepts you. Once again, I do not know how it is to be raped, but it seems like he is a man with integrity and is a positive support system for you and seems like he would support you in whatever you need help with, however, a relationship is only a relationship if you tell him how you truly feel. It is incredibly selfish to waste his time if you want to be free. Also you are wasting your time. It's a fine balance and I hope you ponder the idea critically.

  • Maybe you just need to grow the h*** up! You know what you want and how to do it, so why come here and act like a helpless person when you know you're the only one who can save your sorry ass?

  • All the limits you describe are purely self-imposed. Once you accept that you have no boundaries other than the ones you're creating for yourself -- and once you realize how rare REAL love is --- you'll be much happier, and so will your man.

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