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Scared I will Never Get a White Woman Pregnant
I am in my late 40s.I am so scared that I will grow old and die without having a child with a white woman.
I am in my late 40s.I am so scared that I will grow old and die without having a child with a white woman.
I'm married. And I really do actually love my husband. But unfortunately, there's nothing about my husband that makes me ache with desire. There's nothing about my husband's ** that makes me excited or proud, as a sexual woman. And there's nothing about my husband's ** that drives me out to the edge of sanity and then rudely throws me over that edge, totally wrecked and utterly ruined. Finally, my husband has never entered my **. A black man would do all those things, to me, for me, with me, on me, IN ME. I don't think of it as denying myself, but rather as simply observing my wedding vows and being a good little white wife to her white husband, and a good little white mother to her white children. Part of my fear of getting involved with a black man is that I would become obsessed and lose control of myself and my life. I can see that happening. I can almost feel that happening. A certain type of black man could own me. Just . . . OWN me.
I read your reply late last night,but could not think of how to reply to it.I woke up this morning still thinking about your situation,but I still with no clue what to say to you. Generally speaking,you have made a very honest appraisal of your person and situation, and I feel that you have good reasons to fear both your person, and your situation. While you love your husband and kids dearly,you feel empty or devoid of sexual happiness and excitement.It does not seem like hubby excites you the way you would like or want;he is not even into ** **-something you seem to crave.You are more devoted to your wedding vows and the institution of marriage,than your hubby(sorry if I am wrong).I bet you,you always feel miserable before, during and after ** with your hubby,because its not what you want,expect,or deserve. One day you may capitulate and go after a man,of any color,that may turn you on the way you expect.This situation may not go on for long.Not all black men are into ** ** but you must find a way to enjoy that experience.It seems like if you had to have an affair,a black man would be your choice.What are the characteristics of this certain black man who could own you? Mentally,you have surrendered your mind and heart to a black man whom you have physically not met.When you meet him,unless you are careful and on a pill,you are likely to be knocked up by this black man. Then you will no longer be the sweet little white wife married to a white husband and raising white kids.You have reason to fear,your life is likely to change forever when you open your heart,mind and legs to this certain type of black man out here somewhere.I promise you, if you make a move,a good (black) man will OWN you soon-which may change your current life.You sound so ready, willing, available, and deserving of fulfilling love,**,and self determination.