I dont get it
That I want to see another woman. 2 days ago was my girlfriend and my 2 year anniversary, and I can't stop scheming about how I'll get my hands on other girls. It's not that I don't like her, which is the sickening part. I read The Great Gatsby about 10 months ago and I felt a kinship to Tom. Analyzing it in class, I learned that Tom gained his sense of power and importance from owning two women. I have craved that power ever since. It also doesnt help that sophomore year, when I first started dating my current girlfriend, I was disgusting looking. My face full of acne, hair a mess, and body out of shape rendered me a rather weak player in the dating game. I was lucky to get such a beautiful girl at the time. But since then, I have begun working out, cut my hair, and now I have smooth tanned skin. It's hard to not dream about trading up
Right now I am in the den of who I thought might have been a potential lover. I have seen her before on other study sessions, but we always end up just sitting close together and talking about life. Lots of gazing into eyes the whole bit. Occasionally the conversation would turn to impulses and wants and needs. She was definitely inviting me to take her, or at least so I thought. She would put her hand on my knee, asking whether humans should subdue their natural impulses. I should have made my move then, but I thought she might be toying with me. Her boyfriend and her had been through some rough times recently and she knew that my girlfriend and I were fraying. I should have made my move.
But today, I came over and she barely acknowledged my existence. She was cordial and sunny like she is with everyone else, but she avoids my gaze. Right now I'm "finishing my essay" while she actually does homework. Our study sessions never before included doing homework. Plus she has started talking about her boyfriend, another new occurrence... Did I really miss my chance? today was going to be the day. I understand she's stressed about finals but did I seriously miss my one chance?