This Christmas made me feel more alone than ever.

I don't feel like I have any family left in the world, but I have some very close friends who I think are just as good.

I was adopted before I was born, but I still didn't really feel like part of the family. My (adoptive) mom was sick for my entire childhood, so I was basically raised by my grandmother until mom died when I was 12. I moved in with my dad and changed schools and shortly thereafter, my grandmother died and my dad remarried. I went off to college and he built a new life with my step mom, and he's very happy now, but since then, I haven't felt like I actually belong anywhere. I avoid going home for the holidays because I feel like a guest in the house, not a daughter. For Christmas, my parents got me a scarf, socks, and some candy. They have absolutely no idea who I am and it kills me to think that I have so much in common with my biological mom (who I've stayed in contact with), but I missed the chance to spend a life with a real family.

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  • Your story made me really sad. I feel for you. My story is a bit different but I can relate a lot. Every Christmas I feel so alone and miserable because I really don't have a lot of family left. My parents both died before I turned 18. I lost my older brother too. I have an aunt and cousins who I've been out of touch with for years and only in the past few years reconnected with. I spent this past Christmas with them but still it wouldn't be the same as if it was close family. Holidays are always so hard for me. It really bothers me when people complain how they have to travel or buy this and that for their families for the holidays. They don't recognize how lucky they are to have someone to spend the holidays with and buy presents for. no one can truly understand what it's like unless they don't have anyone. It's sad you lost out on a chance to feel like you really belonged to a family all those years. It's good you can keep in touch with your biological mom. Even if she didn't raise you you can still have a good relationship now and in the future. Best of luck to you. You're not alone.

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