I feel like Im going crazy
I am 15, & I have very low self esteem. I'm extremely shy, & I keep to myself most of the time. In May 2013 I was arrested for pot at school. Ever since I've been in homeschool. I dont like it at all, and apart from my cousin and my little brother I haven't seen/hung out with anyone my age in 9 months. Most of that time I've spent in my room writing stories mainly about my life, and it frustrates me. Lately I've noticed I over think a lot of things.. Like I had a dream I was a lesbian and ever since I've found myself looking at girls differently. I am extremely skinny, I fluctuate between 86-89 pounds and have stayed in that range for the past three years. I dont eat very much, and I only like to sleep during the day because my mind wonders too much at night. I have had times where I over think things so much that I start to cry and can't stop. I'm 97% positive that I have had two panic attacks and a breakdown in the past four months. I scared myself on thanksgiving, because I got extremely high & thought I was going to die. My brother found me in a corner begging god to save me because I thought I was dying. I am extremely sensitive, & I sometimes cry if I hurt someones feelings. I can't stand to say something wrong & not clarify what I meant to say, because if I don't it will bother me for weeks. My aunt died not too long ago, and I'm the only one that has had a dream about her, and its always about her death. I can't take over thinking anymore, and I don't know what to do.