I Feel Like I Am Living a Lie

People see me as this very successful woman. I have a great job, a seemingly great adult daughter, my own house and no money problems.

The truth is, I am terrified of losing my job because I do not have a college degree. Everyone just assumes that I have one because I am viewed as being smart. It's my little dark secret. I am terrified of being poor again. I was very poor growing up.

My daughter is a great person but she drinks too much. I worry about her every second of the day.

I am currently involved with a man who is married. He doesn't love me nearly as much as I love him, yet I hang on because I am lonely. Loneliness makes one do things that one says one will never do. I have very few friends.

I had an abortion when I was 23. I am still haunted by it (I am now 51). To alleviate my guilt, I have donated tons of time and money to different organizations. I am a kind person and care very much about others. Yet, I am empty inside.

I want to be happy.

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