I wish i didnt have a kid

I just want to get this off my chest.

I hate being a dad.
My child is beautiful and really sweet, but they could be the most angelic little gold s******* baby ever born, and I would still hate being a dad.

I begged the mom not to go through with it when we found out. begged and begged. I've never wanted kids, EVER. In fact quite the opposite, I've always hated kids and been horrified at the idea of them. She was on birth control, and I always pulled out, but still she got pregnant. She warned me early on that if she got pregnant she wouldn't have an abortion. I just never thought it would actually happen. When it did I tried to change her mind as respectfully as I could. I know in the end it's the mom's decision about what to do with their child. It's their body, their choice, I know this. However I desperately never, ever wanted a kid. I was really into traveling, playing music, shows, just living and experiencing as much as I could.

Now I stay at home.

We change jobs and switch off who has to stay at home, and my wife is my best friend and we are almost exactly alike and it's amazing to be with her. It still doesn't change the fact that sometimes I almost resent her for keeping the baby. I know that sounds bad, but I begged and pleaded that she reconsider. It doesn't matter now because this is how it is, and I have to accept it. I love the the s*** out of my child, and we have a lot of fun together. But there's still this deep feeling down in there that flares up sometimes. Its like a sudden crushing depression at the loss of freedom. I can't remember what its like to not have a kid, and to just do whatever you felt like whenever. I'm dealing with it pretty well, and most of the time I'm pretty happy. It's just days like these when I feel so sad. That's why I'm writing this. I don't know who I could tell.


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  • I agree with others here. I really don't understand why someone stays with a person who wants kids when they don't. If you don't think you'd ever change your mind don't expect someone who feels differently to either. More men need to take charge of their own fertility issues, I know there's not as many options but there are still some out there. Wake up men, don't be victims to your biology, we're not animals ffs we have choices!

  • Agreed. Even with religion you can often work something out, but two people having two different opinions on whether or not to have kids are in a doomed relationship. You should have gotten the snip-- a condom wouldn't have been enough. She would've found your stash and "accidentally" poked holes in each one. Wanna-breed women are ruthless about this and think it's cute and hilarious when one of their own "oopses" her partner. You honestly believe she was consistent with her BC? All she had to do was flush one pill down the toilet every day to make it appear like she was safe. When will men learn?

  • Dude before you know it the kid will be 18 years old , kids grow up fast and you will be with your wife before you know it , unless you knock her up again .

  • If you didn't want kids why on earth didn't you get a Vasectomy
    (sterilisation for men) guess u never heard of that uh ..

  • You obese f****** mule,i hope you die of cancer,you go to h***,you go to h*** and you die.

  • It sucks that there are many people out there who want to be parents but can't father a child or get pregnant. It's nice to see how grateful you are

  • Boo hoo, sob sob. If God gave you a broken baby maker, ADOPT. If that's too hard, your reasoning is selfish. Either way, shut up with the whining already!

  • Sound like you are having this back and forth argument with yourself about the situation, that maybe you can' make clear of all the jumbled thoughts. What if you went to see a counselor? Someone you could talk to about what's truly on your mind. It's really hard when you don't have someone that you can really talk to about this. A counselor is safe, it stays between you, and they are really good at painting the picture and showing you what may really be going on at a deeper level. Good luck man!

  • I, too, feel exactly as this person...except I haven't had a kid yet. May you find peace, bro.

  • I feel sorry for you, but not too sorry because if you don't want kids, you make absolutely sure it won't happen. If a girl says she won' abort if she gets pregnant, you DO NOT f*** that girl. Ever. Its just a conflict of interest and way too risky. Sucks about the position you're in, but don't think for a minute that you did not put yourself there. Signed, never ever ever having kids..

  • If you never wanted kids, then you should have always used condoms, gotten a vasectomy and only dated women who shared your belief. I don't get how people who marry do not have the discussion about to have or not have children. That's not something you can compromise on. Hating and not being sure are two very different things. Just because you have a child doesn't mean you have to stop living or traveling, you just make adjustments in your life. Pack the kid up and go. And aside from how you feel this kid cramps your style, it does sound like you love him. So suck it up, man up and enjoy your life. What actually may help you, is to find a job that you enjoy.

  • Kill yourself,loser.

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