I will never be okay with having another child.

The fear of getting pregnant again is hurting my sexual life with my partner. I already have a daughter and while I love her more than I ever thought I could love anything. I will never be willing to have another child..
When I got pregnant the first time it was unplanned we had planned on getting a abortion but decided against it and honestly I don't think we would have gone through with it. Throughout my pregnancy things went great we were excited to meet our little girl. And when we had her we were happy but as soon as I got to hold her people flooded into the delivery room like it was some kind of party... I didn't get to spend much time with my daughter after birth.. My finances mother took her away and what could I say? I was exhausted and I couldn't get up to take her back... I wanted her but she was being handed off to everyone in that room... I didn't get her back until I was moved to my room....
After that we stayed 2 days in the hospital and when we went home I was so happy. I thought I would have peace and quiet.. I didn't even get the chance to rest. My daughter didn't ever cry much but we were so afraid of her dying from SIDS we didn't get much sleep at all... The visitors.. Mainly my finances family would not leave us be. There was always someone taking her away from us. All the while I'm trying my best to breast feed and I'm getting frustrated because she wasn't latching on. My fiancé and his mother told me she was starving and begged me to feed her with formula they didn't care that I was trying to feed her my milk! Just 3 days after I gave birth my SO'S mother took my baby to away to her house... At 3 days old she took her away from me. I was going through severe postpartum at the time and I was an emotional wreck. My SO let her go He talked me into letting her take my baby... I still regret letting her take her away.. My SO treated me like trash for about a month.. He would make severely hurtful comments that would break my heart I just wanted to give up.
One night in particular his mother practically begged me into coming over me being severely exhausted I did something I didn't know was wrong at the time. I was showing my SOs little sister how to hold a baby to make them stop crying if they're stomach is upset.. She didn't say anything to me about it. She just sat back and watched and my mom called and asked if I wanted to come home I said yes I did so she came to get me and his mom got severely p***** that I was leaving so when my fiancé came to get me at his moms I wasn't there and that's when she told him that " I was being rough with our nb daughter That I wasn't holding her right and that I was doing something she probably compared to as abusive...
He came home... While I was in the shower just trying to relax and trying not to roll up in a ball and cry.. He comes in the rooms and asks where our daughter is I tell him he goes and checks on her and then comes back and says my mom told me you were being very rough with our daughter and that I was doing something to her I wasn't supposed to be doing so he says I'm taking the baby and we're leaving you. I'm just shocked... I get out of the shower and beg him while he's walking away from me with a look of hatred on his face.. While I'm on my knees naked and wet... I still had soap in my hair.... We're arguing about it and my mom walks out ( we lived at my moms at the time) with my daughter I had gotten a towel on and as soon as I saw her I grabbed her and ran.. He had me cornered In the laundry room I can honestly say I lost it for about five minutes. I went in to protective mode and I wouldn't let him near me or her... That is when he realized that he f***** up severely. I wouldn't let anyone near me not even my own mother for about 8 minutes. That's when I heard my mom on the phone with the police I snapped out of it then still not letting my baby out of my grip I went over to my mother and took the phone away she had already hung up with the police. After that all my SO cared about was going to jail... He didn't care what he did he didn't even apologize for the trauma he caused me... So I Being the better person tried to calm him down. He seriously thought he would get arrested... When the police arrived I was still in a towel holding my baby girl she was about 1 month old or less. The police didn't do anything they assessed and left. I don't remember anything after that... That night traumatized me so horrifically that now I get panic attacks from just the thought of getting or being pregnant again... I know some of you wont think this is a big deal but to me from someone I loved for so long to have him do this to me killed me emotionally along with postpartum I just wanted to die... But after nearly 10 months my postpartum went away.. My daughters now a year old and me and my fiancé are happy together again finally.

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  • Keep that mil out of your house she deserves an ass kickin

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