I'm saying it out here cus I have no one else to talk to. I have no friends and I just want to let it out.
I met this guy. He was the first to tell me that he loves me. I didn't love him at that time. I didn't want to. I was scare to because of my past relationship. But yeah, he told me to try him out and that he won't be the same. We became boyfriend and girlfriend. Then I fell in love with him. I told him that I love him. He had this skin disease that can't be cure and the reason is unknown. A lot of people would find it nasty, but I accepted him because I love him.
He would always get mad and yell at me if I told him that I'm not happy with what he was doing. He has the family that loves him well and a lot friends. I'm not close with my family at all. I live with my dad and my dad is barely home. I felt so alone and he was my everything. He broke up with me 2 times. But every time, I begged him to be with me again. We got back. But I could see him changing a lot. He'd rather do a lot of other stuffs than spend times with me.
I didn't say anything cus I love him so much and I just wanted to be with him and I was happy just seeing his smile..
But today, he told me he can't take this anymore and that he wants to end it. He said he stopped loving me after the last break up. He doesn't want to be with me anymore.
I cried and begged him to be with me again for a good 2 hours.
He said he already reconsidered but he can't be with me anymore. He said things changed, he has changed..
Finally, I realized I really have to let go of him this time.
As long as he is happy, everything is fine. Even if that means I have to cry every single day.
But still it really hurts...
When we were together, I went to bed thinking of him, I dreamt about him, I woke up in the morning looking forward to talk to him and see him..
It feels so empty now. I don't know what to do..
I'm afraid to wake up another morning now.
I did everything for him..
I did everything that I had never done for my other ex..
And yet.. it ended how it began.. I'm sitting all alone in the dark with no shoulder to cry on.
All I ever wanted was a shoulder to cry on..