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I'm gay

My family thinks I am horribly lecherous and that I need to "get my act together". Although the only reason I obnoxiously flirt with women is because I’m terrified my family will find out I’m gay. Some of my family members wont be okay with me being gay. This scares me because I love them and I don’t want to be rejected by them.

The only ones that know I'm gay are my best friend, his sister and his parents. I trust them and I know they will keep it a secret. Sadly though, this is not the rest of my problem. For the past three years or so, I've been having very...intense affectionate feelings toward my best friend.

We've been friends since the fourth grade,and all through out the eleven years I've known him I've never seen nor heard that he was dating anyone. **, I haven't even seen him show any interest towards anyone of any gender. I want to tell him, but I don't know where he stands. Also he's my best friend and I don't want to loose him because of my stupid emotions.

Also,I feel like total ** for flirting with women the way I have been. I hope at some point I'll have a chance to make things okay.

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