Big marraige problem part 2

I know what you are thinking, maybe i have put on weight, maybe i am fat or ugly. What i know is that i still have woman at work complimenting me, flirting with me with no agenda. I am not their superior or in any position to affect their promotion. I have woman taking a second look at me on the streets and i have woman making passes at me. Having said that, i am no brat pitt or channing tatum.

I told my wife about having more s** in a day than just once and she agreed. The first time was immense pain, the second was not as pain but still no pleausre. I always love to see my partner's pleasurable face during s** but this never happens in my marriage. To make things worst, she got UTI right after we had s** twice in a day. I always wash myself before s**.

After visitng the obgyn, he said that she should wash herself everytime after s**. The doc also mentioned that she has a small v***** but not small enough to require surgery.

She is quite dry in terms of vaginal lubricant, so it takes while for her to get wet and before i can try penetration. This means no spontaneous s**. I tried a few times to touch her while she's sleeping but all i get is rejection.

Wake up b******
I did mentioned to my wife that i have a fantasy of being woken up by a b******. I even repeated myelf several times. She said ok. But after more than 2 years, she never did it once. The closest one happened on one of my birthday. She woke me up and then tried to blow me. I told her that the idea was not to wake me up first and immediately go for it while i am still asleep. To date, it never happen again. She has not given me a b****** while i am asleep.

Low libido
After much thinking through, the crux of the problem is that she has very low libido. She doesnt need s** at all. If i dont initiate, she can go more than 3 months without s**. As for me, i have super high libido. I want s** almost daily, i want spontaneous s**, i want morning s**, lunch time s** and overnight s**.

I asked her once if she has been sexually abused as a kid, she said no.

My solution to the problem, masturbation. I have been masturbating to p*** almost daily. She doesnt mind me watching p*** but i never showed her that i m********* to p***. It comes to a point where i think i have a internet p*** masturbation addiction, which i think i have kicked. It does comes back occasionally. We watched p*** together a few times and and she gets turned on. But she told me that according to christianity, is wrong to watch p***. So we stopped it totally.

The obgyn recommended taking some alcohol, i love to drink but my wife hates the taste of alcohol. She did try a few sips but totally hate it. After she force down a few small drinks, she becomes sleepy and wants to sleep.

My wife got pregnant about 6 months ago and we only had s** like once or twice since. Total number of b******* in this period, maybe 3.

My wife's qualities
Being a conservative wife, she is excellent at dealing with household matters. She will really clean up the house during the days when she is not working, she will ensure all laundy is done and the house is clean ans tidy.

Emotionally, she is very stable, she never suspects me with other woman, she give me a lot of freedom to hang out with my friends. She is very independent and can do a lot of things herself.

She is a very thrifty person, she never overspend, she never ask me to buy expensive things for her. She has a good amount of savings from her own salary and always buys her stuff with her own money. She never complains that i dont earn a lot of money and never compares me with her friends who have successful husband.


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  • Why would it take you two months just to begin fingering your wife? Why would you stick your p**** in her without making sure she was aroused?

    Have you considered that the extreme amount of importance you place on s** may be intimidating and affecting her ability to be aroused? Have s** without p**** in v***** s**. Make it regular. It's clear she doesn't enjoy it. Want to pleasure her? You're not going to do it with your p****. Practice licking and rubbing her to o*****, or have her do it in front of you, and start helping her associate pleasure with intimate time, as opposed to dreading being in pain.

  • Honestly, I would be in tears if I suffered painful s** that I didn't enjoy just to please my man, and then he still goes behind my back to stuff his d*** in easy lays. If you going to do it be a man and tell her about it. Don't ruin your integrity just because your b**** are itching to bust a nut in someone else's c***.

  • You have a very good wife from what you described.
    But about the s** department, please talk to her about how you feel and what all changes you'd like to make. Don't cheat and ruin your healthy marriage.
    I am sure she will understand you and try to change herself a little.

  • Hi Anon,

    Thank you for such a detailed and sincere advice. I do understand that she is an amazing woman. The problem is my natural instinct for s**.

    Should i see a doctor to kill my libido so at least i can be a good husband?

    What about D?

  • I feel sorry for u sexually man.But on all other aspects,I think you have the best wife in the world! She is got all the qualities for an ideal wife and a good person.You made a good choice so thank God for that.Long after the ability to be sexual is gone,you will still have a great woman to take care of you in old age,and she seems like for good times and bad,she will stick with you. According to the obgyn,the issue may be clinical-she has a small v***** and it hurts her to be penetrated.There are millions of women with such an issue and you should be more supportive and more understanding and accommodating of her situation.I am sure there was a real compelling reason why you chose her over your ex gfs who could f*** you anywhere at the drop of panties.You married a wife not a tramp-so don't expect her to f*** you at the City or Central Part at 12:00 noon!I am sorry you cant have it all but you have much more than your fair share of good qualities from this woman.I bet you,you gonna cheat on her,give her a disease or she will find out and get rid of your ass, and then you will be back here crying fowl.I have f***** hundreds of women,not too many of them I will keep for a wife or have the many qualities your wife has. More than 75% of the women I have f***** don't even have any of the good things you mentioned about your wife.God has been sooo good to you;and it seems like you don't even know it, so I thought I tell you.Don't worry,be happy.

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