My Sister Has Changed

My mom has gone to rehab almost a couple months ago. I already lived with grandma, so my mom didn't have to worry about finding someone to watch me (she's single). But she couldn't find someone to watch my sister, so she asked her ex's mom if my sister could stay at their house. Let's say that wasn't a smart idea. My mom's ex abused me and my sister when I was a toddler and she a baby. His mom didn't find anything wrong with his disciplining. A couple days ago, my sister called me and I didn't pick up. So yesterday I called her back. The conversation started fine, then she started saying a bunch of mean crap about our grandma. I could tell my mom's ex's mom was saying a bunch of crap to my sister about my grandma because my grandma was the one who turned my mom's ex in and so his mom hates my grandma. Not only has my sister been rude on the phone, but when my mom calls her to check up on her, all she says is things she wants when my mom gets back. And I told my sister that it's gonna take awhile for mom to get better and she doesn't need a lot of stress. I said this when my sister said she wanted me back home when mom gets out of rehab (I have lived with my grandma for awhile). Then when my mom calls my sister she says that I've been saying bad things about my mom. I got all this stress yesterday and I wanted to slap my sister. She said really hurtful things. And it's all because of that woman she's staying with. I have never felt so mad, upset, and disgusted in my life. Can someone give me advice on what I should do?

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  • Your mom needs to grow the f*** up and stop being such an addicted a******. And leave your sister alone, obviously you both lack a normal education. And its your sister, you should be there for her, your grandmother should be there for her too. Instead she was sent like a package to an abusive woman. Bravo to you all

  • Thank you for your advice. I have been worrying about her lately and my mom just got back from rehab! I have talked to my sister and I have worked things out with her. I have told what is true and what was lies and she understands better. And I will be seeing her more often.

  • This is just my take on this.. Your mom has gone to get some much needed help. Which is awesome. Because when she’s using, it’s probably not a very safe or happy home. Since your sister is younger, it sounds like she feels abandoned. And she didn’t have any choice where she was going to stay. And even though your mom’s rehab is temporary, your sister may not feel like it is. So she’s rebelling. And sometimes it’s easier to be mad and angry and say hurtful things, instead of being honest and letting you (or anyone) know that she’s scared and she just wants to go home. Could the other mother be having some influence on her? Sure.. If there was some sort of animosity before, that energy could be being fed. But at the same time, why would someone go out of their way to care for a child? I mean..that woman could have said no. Your sister is most likely too young and just too confused right now to separate truth from lies. She probably just believes what is being told to her right now. I think you have to be the big sister and put your differences aside, and just let your sister know that you are there and to call anytime. Take some deep breaths when speaking with her, don’t let things get heated. Encourage her to talk. And remind her that this is temporary and remind her to not believe everything she hears and to try really hard to not make any judgements. Even if she’s young, she can pick up on things. If you can, try to make an effort to see her often. She would probably really like that. It would be a familiar thing she can look forward to. One idea, is to maybe buy her a journal or a notepad and to encourage her to write in it. That could be therapeutic for her. Just be patient, this is definitely going to be a trying time for everyone.

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