The Realist Blues
I am a realist. I don't believe in God because there's no reason for me to. 99% of me doesn't believe in an afterlife. I've read enough about Biology, Psychology, History, and Physics to not believe most of the crap out there that so many people draw inspiration from instead of themselves.
There's just one thing.
I see things before they happen.
I don't expect you to believe me. I wouldn't. I'm a very skeptical person. But I experience moments in my life before they happen. Not in a vague fashion, in exact detail from a first person perspective. For example, before my wife and I broke up had a dream in first person perspective at a desk doing paperwork. I was thinking about the girl I was taking to New Mexico with me. At the time when I had this dream, I was unemployed and in no way considering breaking up with my wife. Flash forward a few months, I was sitting at that desk at my new job, doing paperwork, thinking about the girl I had just gone on a date with. I swear to you, everything was specifically the same.
This goes against everything I know about reality. It causes me a lot of confusion in my morality because I don't know what is actually harmful and what is actually affecting my life or if any of it matters.