Why would he marry her?

About 4 years ago i met an amazing guy at work and we started dating. we where together for about 2 years and I was very happy with him. we had amazing s** and the passion was so intense but unfortunantly we broke up due to him having jelousy issues for no apparent reason and i just couldnt handle it anymore. almost immediately after we broke up he started seeing his daughters mom again to whom he had been off and on with since high school. it hurt me to hear that but then i realized he just cant be alone. about 4 months later i started seeing another man to who i got engaged to and i was very much in love with but i still thought about the first guy all the time but i kept my distance and had no contact with him then out of the blue the first guy started calling me again telling me how amazing i am and that he will never find anyone like me and that he cant even look at me because it is to hard for him. unfortunantly my fiance and i split due to his infidelity and i was now single and broken but i still kept thinking about #1. after him trying to win me back and it was working i was then informed by a mutual friend that he was getting married and that she was pregnant as well. i was so discusted with him and the situation that i just cut him off immediately and stopped talking to him 2 years have passed and i still get butterflies when i think of him and being with him i have never had such an unconditional love for anyone and i know he loves me too very much but i cant interfere with there marriage he told me that he married her because he thought i was getting married and couldnt stand the fact that he knew he would never be with me and that he thought he owed it to her for being with him for so long but that he is in love with me not her. he said he came from a broken home and that he didnt want his kids to go through that. i dont know what to do . i cant even get close to any men because they dont compare to what we had its like we were made for each other. I know i dont deserve this so i dont talk to him anymore but how do i get over this and start seeing other guys like i saw him?

Jul 11, 2014

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  • The first guy sounds like a real mess count your blessing your not with him even if you had sparks he sounds immature and my guess he will cheat on this wife and never pay child support on his kid .

  • At some point you need to give this chapter in your life proper closure. Get disgusted! Get angry and then write out all your feelings, rip it up and let him go. This guy is still preventing you from finding love. Stop giving him this power. This guy has been given more than one chance to be with you and he walked away. Being an outsider and just reading your post, it just sounds like this guy was playing you and he has some serious red warning flags. Passion and l*** are fun, but they can also cloud true judgement. Red flag #1. Jealousy issues for no reason. Be thankful that you saw that early on and ended it. That could have turned into giant control issues later on. Red flag 2. Not so sure he ever stopped seeing his high school sweetheart. Could have been something he just told you. 3. His excuses are lame. Lots of people have children and don't stay with the other parent.Sorry..not buying it. 4. He comes back into your life and fails to tell you a very important detail that he was getting married?! What?! Again..he has no regard for you or your feelings. He wants to make sure you're available in case high school sweetie doesn't work. In no way do I think that what you felt for him, or your connection or even what he said to you was not real or true. But really, in hindsight, it may truly be a blessing that you are not together. The end result - he said a lot of things but if he really wanted to be with you, he would have made it happen. Trust me, we've all been there. He's not the one. Stop putting him on some high pedestal. He doesn't add up. Do not waste another second of your precious time thinking about this guy. Go out and find a guy who wants to be with you and is ready for a commitment.

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