She had her chances.

I started dating a man going through a divorce about six months ago. he and his wife of seven years had split up after about a year of fighting and instability. we grew close and he opened up to me about the split, which he hasn't really talked about with his family or friends. but even through it all, he made it clear he wanted a future with me. i was willing to wait for him to be ready. after all, i'm in college so i felt there was plenty of time for us to settle down with each other.

well, two weeks ago, i found out i'm pregnant. just two days later, he told me his ex called. she suddenly wants to "make it work", and call off the divorce. he tried to do that with her long before we got together. they did counseling, trial separation, etc.

a few hours ago, he told me he's thinking about talking to her, just to hear what she has to say. i really don't want him to, but i don't want to be controlling. he said he'll support any decision i make, but he wants to "clear the air" with her soon. i just think he gave her too many chances, you know? why does she care now?



  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • You are in college and you do not know that the word "I", "I'm and the beginning of sentences are capitalized? Wow, that is so sad or are you really a 10 year old troll?

  • Don't have an abortion. Children are God's blessings.YOU CAN DO IT .WITH OR WITHOUT HIM.I ASSURE YOU THAT IT CAN BE DONE HONEY...GOOD LUCK....

  • I say you should call her yourself, tell her that her husband belongs to you now, tell her that you're carrying his baby, and tell her that she needs to leave him alone. Permanently! Mark your territory!

  • I agree with you. She had her chances. And he shouldn't give her any more of them. All the chance now should be yours. You've paid your dues, and you have his child, and it's your turn. He should kick her to the curb.

  • He lost his right to choose between the two of you the moment he decided to have unprotected s** with you. Whether or not the two of you discussed starting a family, once that event happened, then he has no right to "go home" or even consider it if you turn up pregnant by him.

  • ^Have to disagree with this comment. I do understand what they are saying. But it's 2014. The man is not solely responsible for protection. She certainly has to know how to prevent pregnancy and disease. She is just as responsible for this outcome as he is. And just because a woman gets pregnant doesn't automatically mean the guy must stay with her. It would be nice, but often times it doesn't end well. Of course, regardless of the status of their relationship..he should man up and be a father and support the child. But that remains to be seen. This guy is between a rock and a hard place. He used her and then he's going to run to her because his wife kicks him out. Why take him in.. she's not his first choice. She's the choice because he is out of options. How can this relationship survive?

  • its not just coincidence that the potential reconciliation came days after he learned of your pregnancy. give him one chance, yes or no. and then move on if hes not on board. hes a user and you do not need that in your life.

  • Give him two weeks, max. Tell him he can go either direction, it's up to him. But if he comes back to you, he stays, period. Enough already with the vacillation. It's decision time.

  • That's the risk you take when you enter into a realtionship with a married or separated man. We don't really know the truth. You're only hearing one side of the story. The guy you're with had equal participation/accountability in the reasons why his marriage wasn't working. And who knows if he will carry that into a relationship with you. He obviously still has feelings for her. You're just accepting his story. You don't really know, you're just assuming what he's telling you is the truth. Who knows..maybe they never were separated and he's just cheating on her. And now it's getting serious and he's looking for a way out. Just saying..Look your priorities have totally changed. You can't bet that he's going to leave his wife and you automatically are going to have some fairytale life together. Would be nice, but often times it doesn't happen. Be honest with him about what you want for the baby and how you two really want to work things out. Chances are he will have had enough chances when he tells his wife that you're pregnant. Hold out, because you don't necessarily want him (at least hope you don't) take him because his wife is done. Don't be second choice to anyone. Be also really careful, because this guy may do the same thing he's doing to his wife, to you.

  • Make sure he lets her know you having his baby. Hope you don't have an abortion,do the best you can and raise the child. His relationship with her has had many issues before you,its not likely to succeed or be a bed of roses this time around. Be brave,have no fear,you will not be the only college girl to get pregnant by someone who cannot make up his mind.My now 24 year old daughter got pregnant in college,the very first time she had s** in her life. She dropped out of college,had a wonderful son who is now 2 years old. She moved in with her mom,then me after the baby was born. She has been going to nursing school for the past year.She did her board exam over the weekend and she found out she passed today. She is now going to seek LVN work and can move into her own apt,and raise her son.Son's dad saw the boy once,when he was 9 days old. He just started paying child support after being tracked across 3 states.The boy's dad is married,had kids and my daughter had no clue. You are not going to fail and I hope I have inspired or encouraged you.Best of luck.

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?