All I Wish for is to be Somebody's Baby

Never been kissed, never been dated, once in two years flirted by some random dude. Am I that ugly?

I live in a conservative society and it kills my non-conforming nature. Not many guys here find me desirable and sometimes, such as these times, I feel lonely and unwanted.

Yeah, you say friends and family. Fyi, I disowned my family, bunch of toxic people. Save your judgement until you walk my shoes, alright? Friends are cool, but close friends are rare. They don't even remember my birthday.

I sound bitter. Maybe that's what life had done to me. But I still have some dreams left. A dream that everything might get better.

As a teen, I vowed to never get married, seeing how my parents treated the family. Then loneliness creeps in and I find myself sleeping alone, longing for a cuddle, a spoon, not just s**. More than that, I longed for companionship.

Will I have a happy ending? Dunno. I hate to hope again. I'm going with the flow. I'm not that old to be called a 'spinster'. Maybe along the way, I might mend myself again. Or, if life is truly a b****, then I die a virgin, lonely and bitter.

In the meantime, I'll find solace in arts and cats. Stuff I'm good at now.


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  • Never give up hope. If you open yourself up to it, it will happen. Many guys out there are looking for relationships, not just s**. I happen to be one of them.

  • ^ Yep, I'm all about relationships too. Not gonna lie tho, I'm in my 20's & never been with anybody, so of course s** is something I'd really want to do soon too. Right now I would just take talking dirty with someone & sending each other pics until I can actually do something. I bail on my family too, everyone except a cousin, my mom & brothers. And never had decent friends. I mean, I got 2 good ones through Facebook but that's it. My life's kinda crap, but trying to push that behind me & enjoy the new year as much as possible. Really hope the best for you soon.

  • Thanks I hope the best for you too. You sound like someone I'd like to get to know better, but I'm a bit older and I doubt you'd be interested in my anyway. At any rate 20's is young. It's true that you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't rush into s** just because you want to do it. The first time should really be special (yes this is really a guy speaking). Your life is what you make of it. Toxic families make it difficult, but the older you get the less involved you have to be. Hang in there and make the right choices. Make 2015 the year of the new you!

  • It will happen for you, if you're open to it. Are you in a mental space right now where you're ready to invite love in? Maybe figure out a way to work on that bitterness you're feeling. Change your attitude. Embrace the life and people you have now. Change what you want to change and keep powering through. It's a new year, maybe this is the year some great guy comes into your life. But they won't know unless you put yourself out there. So are you making yourself available? Dating sites? Clubs? Maybe an easier first step is to find some more quality friends. You say your friends don't remember your birthday, do you remember theirs? Just be prepared to put out more effort initially and things will come together.

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