My oddness

I am odd. Everything must be just so or I don't like it. Maybe not neat, but just so. I freak out easily if somebody tries to change my system, such as laying my jacket on the floor beside my shoes, setting my pjs in the bathroom on the toilet lid. I am socially awkward and just avoid awkward situations all together. I get nervous and shaky at any hint of negativity, including being reprimanded by parents, teachers, or anyone of authority. I like the bands Of Monsters And Men, AWOLNATION, Avenged Sevenfold,and the artists Mary Lambert, Pink, and artists of Indie Pop, Metal, etc. I also like Toby Mac and am a hardcore Christian. I am not interested in dating either gender and consider being a nun sometimes, on my knees, praying to God Almighty forever. I have never been tardy to class and almost have a meltdown if I am almost late. I am not happy unless my averages are over 95. I flush the toilet twice to make sure. I have a pet goat named Katniss. I hate missing school. I am easily embarassed. The only reason I have friends is because they are kind enough to allow for me. Sometimes I snap for no exact reason. I am too soft because I put other's feelings before my own a lot. My words have to be spelled correctly. I sing and pray when I am nerved out or anxious. I cry for no reason sometimes. I have almost no sense of humor. I do not like to use public restrooms under any circumstances unless it is an absolute emergency. I like to isolate myself in the woods to talk to myself and God. I am a virgin and plan to stay one until after I am married, which is moot because I never plan on getting married. I have a hard time choosing or deciding anything.

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  • You have obsessive compulsive disorder. This is difficult to treat but you can learn to live with it. Good luck.

  • Wow. Kindred spirit. In some ways. So first I would like to say you are not alone. I am older than you and I have very consciously tried to identify and work on my obsessive compulsive behaviours. Being late drives me insane. I recognise that so when I feel myself getting angry i try hard to not say anything or if I can i'll go for a walk or a run. The thing is I try to develop very deliberately things I can do. I had to smile at your public restrooms comment. Me too. At high school and to a lesser degree at university, I used to hold it all day. Often the last period was completely lost because I was totally concentrating on holding my wee. As an adult I compensate by wearing adult diapers just in case.
    Any way be happy that you are who you are and keep on trying.

  • It's me who posted. Some things that seem silly worry me. A lot. It was worse when I was younger-I would beg my mom to buy me two toys because one is an odd number. Also if I got a multi piece set it had to be even. Many people think OCD is all about neatness, correctness, or how precise something is. I concede that is a small factor but my system has to be the way it is, not necessarily neat. I do find myself stripping my bed down and remaking it several times a day. About the snapping, I can't quite explain what causes it but one day my dad rearranged my room and I snapped out, though I apologized later on.

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