My One Gay ** Experience

This happened a few years ago, when I was in my late-20s. I generally consider myself straight, and I had never had a sexual encounter with another man until this occurred. When I had moved to the city after college, I worked in a large bank and found the constant pressure and long hours very difficult to cope with. But I was also very good at what I did, so I ended up working there for almost a decade. At first, I would self-medicate my stressful life in my free time by going to clubs and hooking up with random girls. The novelty of this experience began to get dull over time, and I started getting strange thoughts about being sexually dominated by a larger man. For a long time I just entertained this as a weird fantasy, but then I started posting ads on craigslist. I generally never followed up on any responses. Despite entertaining this fantasy, I still found the male body sexually unattractive. I was, to put it mildly, a little confused. Then this guy (he called himself John), who was a manly-looking contractor, contacted me. He was very insistent on meeting, saying his wife never gave him **, and that he wanted one from me. We IM’d back and forth for a bit, and before I knew it, I gave him my address. He said he would come over later that evening. As I walked home, my heart was beating out of control and I was literally shaking from excitement and fear. I poured myself a few shots of vodka to muster up my courage while waiting. Finally there was the knock on the door. Never had a knock on the door sounded so strange and portentous. He walked in very casually, like he owned the place, and I followed him into the living room. After a few niceties, he pulled down his pants and said, "Why don't you get on your knees?" Surprisingly, I slipped into my role with relative ease."It's much bigger than mine,” I said, as I gave his long ** a first lick. It was a strange salty-sweet man-taste I had never experienced before. His ** stood up almost immediately after my first lick, and this filled me with a strange feeling of pride. He responded, “I know we talked about using a condom,but I’m not putting one on.” “Okay, that’s fine,” I replied submissively, “Just tell me what to do.” Before I knew it, my head was bobbing up and down his **. Once in a while I would look up at him while his ** was still in my mouth to see if he was enjoying it. He clearly was. My nervousness had gone away. He told me to lick his ** a bit, which I did while squeezing his buttocks with my left hand. Soon I could feel his body stiffening and he began to control the motions of my head with his hands, making me gag a little each time his ** bumped into the back of my throat. I loved this wimpy, submissive little gagging sound I found myself making. He began thrusting harder and harder, until finally, without giving me a choice, he squirted a thick and bitter tasting load into the back of my throat. I knew he wouldn’t let go of my head until I swallowed, so I did. He pulled his pants back up and we made small talk. “So, did you like that?” he asked. “I did,” I answered honestly, feeling like some women I had known who would develop a sudden, strange emotional attachment after **. “You can come do that to me anytime,” I responded spontaneously, even surprising myself. (I secretly hoped he’d tell me to do something else, like get him a beer or rub his feet.) He laughed and said he would text me sometime. He never did. Although a part of me was disappointed that we never hooked up again, I was also partly thrilled at the thought that I was just used and quickly discarded by him. That night, I felt a strange mix of revulsion and stimulation at the thought of how he made me swallow, and how his sticky sperm was resting inside my stomach as I lied in bed. Like I said, it’s been years since that encounter, and I’ve never had another gay experience. I’m much more attracted to women. I can’t even say I’m attracted to men physically. But once in a while I do find myself thinking about that hook-up and wondering if I’ll ever experience something like that again. Once in a while I saw a man in the gym shower with a big horse **, and I’ll imagine him doing to me what John had once done.

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