Introvert

I’m 22 Years young. I worked for 3 Years since high school making good money in the oil field. I’ve constantly noticed I’ll avoid large groups of people. When I’ve had interviews I turn the car around because I freak out with talking to so many people. I want to run & hide away. Recently my mom got divorced she had a serious talk to me about me signing up for school so I did. I’m going to class full time. I let go of friends from the past. I get social anxiety. I panic. I’m starting to get freaked out know when the thought of people comes to my head I like to keep to myself. Through high school I suffered a lot from depression and severe anxiety from seeing things of my childhood. Now that I’m a full grown man. I hate myself for not being able to go out when I get invites. I stay at home 24/7 help my mom with what ever I can washing,cleaning& cleaning. It clears my mind. Ive gotten so many certain certifications from online different universities my resume seems to grab attention from my experience. I taught myself numerous number of things to educate myself that I know can help me in my future. But for some reason I’m not ready I want to lock away from the world sometimes and stay at home wake up in bed excluded from the outside world. My nerves strike I run. I can’t even order something alone or go to the store alone because I panic so bad that my anxiety beats me. Nobody knows or understands. I wake up in my bed every morning to peek out the window and notice people neighbors living their life day to day. Working every day of their lives, same thing over and over again. The ignorances from people is bliss. The world is full of hatred. I never take the time to meet anybody. Shake people hands. Never dated. Virgin. People think I’m crazy to not socialize but honestly I rather keep to myself and build a foundation of success that way I know I’ll never owe a thing to anybody else. I’m sick and tired of woman approaching me at the gym. I go to the gym every day it helps me relieve my stress anxiety and pain. Just because of my looks I’m bound to be this perfect guy abs muscles blue eyes long hazel hair. I’m wrong if I’m not socially active. Or if I don’t have a gf. It’s not okay if I don’t have my own place. I’m wrong to live with my mom and be a mommas boy. I’m wrong and crazy if I don’t like to talk to people. I’m crazier if I can’t order something by myself because my palms sweat I freeze up and panic. Society has this way of manipulating people by stereotyping them and it’s disgusting. I’m quiet but I’d say because I stay in the home every day now I constantly read books, take courses online, learn new languages, meditate,work out. I’m just a human like everybody else, except to woman I’m a piece of meat being called sexy, handsome when I just stare at the woman and walk past them in disgust because I know I’m not a socialist. I keep to myself. I’m too sacred to run around and beg people to know my life. Know my story. Know why I like and don’t. We were bone alone die alone. America says if I don’t have a family I’m not normal. I need a wife to function sexually. I need kids. But in reality I want none of it. I’m better if alone being a mommas boy I love my mom and my bed.

5 Comments

  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • Your a young man. Don’t feel the need to owe anything to anybody

  • Just be yourself f*** them

  • I think your mixing up a few things here. Introvert may not like large crowds but they are ok even energised talking to one or two even half a dozen. Usually the number is not important it's more that everyone in the group is engaged. They find it stressful to be in a crowd and trying to make small talk to lots of people.

  • Why not get therapy?

  • Yeah what i was about to say. Get therapy dude, i went through that as well for my social anxiety and started meditating/sessions. Meditating helps alot in helping control your emotions and sensations in these situations. Keep meditating, you will realize thats it's just your childhood that made you develop this way(im the only child). Not saying you should change who you are but adapt, because this is an extrovert's world(majority) and if you want to have the opportunities you want you got to adapt socially when the time arises and put on the poker face.

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?