I'm in love with two people...

I am 20 years old, married to a wonderful 26 year old man and we have a beautiful little 1 year old girl who I could never imagine life without. We have been together upwards of 5 years.
Husband and I are both gamers- one game in particular we play every so often was World of Warcraft.

I met one of my closest friends on this game, who is my age, and now we text almost all day and night, every day of the week. And this man has been my support system, even more so than my husband-

and I am madly in love with him. Why?
Because I am also a closet poly...I can love more than one person and it hurts that my husband doesn't know, and neither does my friend.

I feel like I'm just an unstable bomb ready to explode, but I don't want to ruin my marriage or lose this friend.

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  • How about the fact that this man your talking to is NOT real, and by meaning that i mean you have a vision of what he is and how he is and its not the truth, you don't see his bad habits or stinky feet, you don't see him do the things that turned you away from someone you said you would love forever. Its just a image in your mind of what you think he is and how he is. Believe me when I say u will regret it all. N if your hiding messages and talks with him, you are already cheating on your husband and you need to either squash it or divorce. You made your bed and now you have to lie in it, so at least make it comfy.

  • There is a fourth you neglected to mention. Her daughter. An innocent child who relies on her for everything. I'm not saying the rest of what you say has no value, but if it comes down to it, the emotional health of you child should be put before your own. When you become a parent that's the choice you make.

  • You have to decide -- and choose -- among three things: your husband, your boyfriend, or yourself (i.e., a polyamory lifestyle). What's most important to you? I suppose it's possible that both your husband AND your boyfriend will ultimately support your being polyamory and will stay with you for the long-term (for your sake, I hope that proves true), though I think that's unlikely. However, honesty is the best policy in this situation, and you have to be prepared to lose both men (and hope to replace them with two others who will allow you to play). I wish you only good luck. Women like you are rare, and they all -- including you -- deserve to have all the relationships they want. And they ALL deserve only the best. If your two men don't want you to be fully who you are, and won't be parties to it, the loss will be ENTIRELY theirs, and they will never find another woman like you because there are so few of you. Be well.

  • You might want to squelch these emotions. My ex wife did the same thing. You get caught doing adultery and your husband might get the child after he divorces you.

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