Im 29. My whole life I've been a loner and a textbook introvert. I've never been great at making friends but I never cared since having just a small inner circle of very close friends I've had since forever was perfect for me. I've always been a little antisocial, hating big crowds and going to places like bars and sporting events. I never developed the relationship forming skills everybody else around me has because I was well enough off without them. Shy around women, awkward, very untactful at the best of times. I had a very strong "Girlfriend? Meh, I can take one or leave one its really not my care" attitude. My social skills are on par with a robot programmed to act human.
Despite all that I found a girlfriend a year and a half ago. For a while it went great till I found out that she was into some bad things and that staying with her would have meant psychological and emotional issues at best. We broke up seven months ago and for a while I was happy to be single and my regular antisocial self.
Except that I wasn't really. I changed during that relationship somehow. I want to have that again, that feeling of loving and being loved. But I have no idea where to start. I have no confidence around beautiful women, I have no social skills, no idea how it is that people can just approach a stranger and start talking to them, no idea how to fill this strange hole inside me that never used to be there this sudden social desire.
Why is it that I suddenly care? How can I find a girl?