Georgia is a hick state?

My mother married a soldier from California. She was born in Georgia and he had his home in California. My mother caught him fooling around with another woman but at first she said nothing.

Then my father did something that caused her to divorse him. He sent my mother back home to Georgia for no good reason. Mother thought it over and came to the conclusion that he wanted to get her out of the way so that he could carry on sexual relationships with other women. She got a lawyer and goodbye marriage. I was four years old when this happened.

Ok many years pass. I got through grammar, high school and college with not one word from him. Zero.

At age thirty I decided to contact him and see the other side of my family. In the meantime my father has been divorced and remarried three more times.

OK I contact him and he invites me to visit him and his current wife. I didn't ask for an explanation as to why he divorced my mother but here is what he said.

He said mother wasn't sophisticated enough to live in the California Bay area. She was a fish out of water and needed to go back to Georgia. I didn't say anything but after he retired I invited him to visit me in Georgia.

I lived in a nice apartment in Atlanta Ga. Atlanta isn't a perfect city but it does have several decent colleges, restaurants and large office buildings.

I took him on a tour of my city. The Capitol building. The Cyclorama, several unique historical buildings including the flat irion building of which only two are left in the world. I took him to cabbage town with its shotgun historical houses.

I took him to Atlantas new zoo and the parks and other places including the department stores and such.

He saw a new gleaming city which while flawed is in many ways more exciting than San Francisco. Atlanta only lacks a beach.

His fourth and final wife on this trip was in complete awe of the city.

I took them to Macon with its very old pre civil war houses and my hometown with its old houses which look like houses out of a childrens ghost story book.

I took them to Savannah which has some of the best seafood in the world and has even more large very old historical homes and buildings. I pointed out that since Georgia was a state in the original thirteen colonial period of American history that many of the buildings they were seeing on the tour were from the late 17th century.

They both left in awe of Georgia and its history.

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  • You may be trying to prove some point that had nothing to do with their marriage falling apart. Like which city is better or whatever. Have you ever considered that maybe that's just something he told you because it was just easier to explain away the true reasons why your mom moved back to Georgia. Maybe she just wanted to be closer to her own parents and old friends and what was familiar to her. And have you considered that if they had a messy divorce, maybe your mother did not allow him to contact you? In any case, both places are beautiful and hold very different histories. Regardless, the best part is that you reached out and your able to reconnect with your father and rebuild your relationship. Plus it sounds like he had a great time seeing the city and all the sights through your eyes. Because in the end, what matters most is you two reconnecting.

  • I'm the op and I believe mothers side of the story. He remarried soon after mother was gone and we know that because the child support checks were signed by his second wife. She divorced him and after several years of marriage the third marriage fell apart. His fourth marriage worked apparently and he lived with the last wife until his death.

    Mother had lived with him in poor circumstances in ALameda CA for seven years and she would not have left him had he not borrowed money from his credit union and told her to take a bus back to Georgia. Mother divorced him a few months later having come to the conclusion that he wanted her out of the way so that he could fool around with other women.

    My father knew our address and he could have forced my mother to let him visit me. He just never did. He was a police officer by profession and later in his career he was a detective. He never sent me a birthday card or a letter of any kind.

    I fully expected him to reject me when I looked him up personally. While visiting him in A I got close to some of his friends and apparently they had encouraged him to contact me without any luck.

    I was raised by a good stepfather and I did just fine. My real father had no way of knowing that. For all he knew or seemed to care I was in dire circumstances.

    Still I'm glad I got in touch with him as I was also able to meet his brother and sister and their children.

  • I'm glad to decided to be the bigger person and not hold resentment in

  • Your mother raised you right - your father has some karmic debts I'm afraid

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