My New Year Resolution: I have resolved not to resolve again
I have resolved not to resolve again. I used to resolve not to "f*** any girl" but to concentrate in my studies. Then by January 7th, I had "f***** 7 girls" and counting! My albatross was: hanging out with the wrong friends, clubbing and booze; they usually followed in that order. And then, the garnishing would be s**, even orgies. By the second week of January, what I usually called my "New Year hangover" had set in. It was a mixture of guilt, self failure and worthlessness.
It was when I got married (to the most loving and pleasant lady I'd ever met) that I found out that I was in for a big trouble; a very huge dilemma. I knew it won't be long before my very sweet and loving wife would both kick at my 'kind of friends' and lifestyle. I knew It wasn't going to be long before she'd kick me out for infidelity. But I had thought that I'd change once I got married to her; that I found out was deceitful to my person to say the least. I tried resolution again (for the last time perhaps) but by the third week of January, my hangover was strangulating. This time I was betraying someone who all she had done was to love me and care for me!
That January, my brand new car began to act up. I didn't expect to visit the auto workshop for "real auto work", until at leas two years after purchase. It was a struggle on the road for about a week. I came back from work and complained bitterly about how "not smooth the engine sounded". My beloved wife consoled me and told me that "we'd solve it", she gave me my meals and garnished it with a "night of passion"; we so made love that night that I forgot my sorrows. She soothed me to sleep on her bosom and I slept like a baby.
2 a.m. she woke me up from sleep with the most surprised look on her face. I looked at the table and found out that the car papers were spread all over it. I was alarmed. "What's it?' I had asked her. "J****", she called my name quite characteristically of my alarmed wife, she didn't call my pet name. "We've been using the wrong grade of gas in the tank!". She had discovered that from the manual. More so, she discovered that we could have simply put a call across to the auto maker and gotten it checked for free since we had such a warranty. That was what happened in the morning. I took a cab to work and when I came back, my car was parked in the compound and revved beautifully; that was the end of that issue.
Now, back to my main challenge; had to fix my life and marriage. I took a cue from the experience with my car. I had not taken time to read the maker's manual for my life. I hadn't "put a call across" to the maker to help me fix my life which was spinning out of control; out of the beautiful boundaries of my lovely home and marriage. I had been getting depressed and struggling on this voyage called life with which I have a beautiful "all through life" warranty from God the maker of all souls. I had been filling my "tank"; my soul helplessly with the "wrong grade of gas"; alcohol and the doctor had warned me of its effects on my liver. I knew that my wife read the New Testament and prayed before we slept and before I went to work. She would always ask the Lord to keep me safe as I operated the heavy equipment and really, I have never had an incident at work; the only one in my department with such a record. I was reflecting on all these, as I drove back smoothly from work . As we knelt down to pray that evening, I held my sweet wife in her hands and asked her to "put a call across to the maker again". She was alarmed and asked me if the car was acting up again. I shook my head in the negative. "I need Jesus to fix my life; my drinking habit etc.". She brightened up, held my hands lovingly and did. She said a simple prayer, something like this; "Lord Jesus, take away this burden of sin and guilt, this "acting up" habits of my sweetheart and make him whole; amen".
My life was back to brand new! No more struggles with my chains; wrong "friends", clubbing, booze, orgies etc. No need for "New Year resolution" and its "dissolution" , the "hangovers" of guilt, self worthlessness, wretchedness and so on. I realized that my sweetheart had been aware of my "escapades" but had been "praying for me". How she loved such an unwholesome life like me was beyond me. She is an embodiment of the Christ that I see; loving me in spite of my deficiencies. I began to understand why she wanted us to "use condoms" until she was through with her degree to have the baby she so much desired!
It's been five years and we've had twin boys and I have been free!