hardxcore

i wish i was hardxcore enough to cut myself
but everytime i get to the point of razor on wrist, i get really scared and ashamed of what would happen if i died and what it would do to my family
but i need an emotional release
the pain builds up inside me and i just want to cut so bad but im to afraid to
if anyone else has any emotional release methods, im tired of feeling pain all the time, just give me some advice

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  • IF YOU GOT A PHONE CALL AND A VOICE SAID, I JUST CALLED TO WARN YOU, SOMEONE HAS PUT A CONTRACT OUT ON YOU. WOULD YOU BE EXCITED? I THOUGHT ABOUT SETTING UP A SERVICE. I AM MASTER BLACK [VISION ISSUES=ALL CAPS]

  • NEVER TRIED CUTTING. I SAW A MOVIE ONCE WHERE SHE GOT INTO A BATH TUB AND LET THE BLOOD OOZE OUT OF HER. I HAVE SURVIVED SEVERAL ATTEMPTS, PILLS AND HANGING. ONCE I WENT INTO MY MOTHER'S BASEMENT [I WAS RAISED BY A RELIGIOUS GRANDMOTHER AND HER SON AND HIS WIFE AT ANOTHER TIME]. I HAD GOTTEN OUT OF THE MILITARY, SO VETS MAY UNDERSTAND THE THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE. I LOCKED THE INSIDE DOOR LOCK, WENT DOWN THE STEPS DWELLING ON THE PAIN, I PULLED THE CHAIR OVER AND PUT THE PHONE CORD OVER A PIPE AND PUT IT AROUND MY NECK. I HAD A VISION ON ONE OF MY SISTERS EXPLAINING HOW THEY FOUND ME IN THE BASEMENT AND HOW MOM HAD TO MOVE BECAUSE OF IT...AND THEN I ASKED MYSELF WHY WOULD I WANT TO PUT THEM THROUGH THAT. I WENT TO GET OUT OF THE NOOSE AND THE CHAIR ALMOST TIPPED OVER. I SAID "GOD, I KNOW YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, BUT THAT'S NOT FUNNY...WHEN I CHANGE MY MIND, NOW YOU WANNA TIP THE CHAIR OVER." ON ANOTHER OCCASION I 'THOUGHT' ABOUT IT, I HAVE NOT SEEN MY DAUGHTER [I THINK SHES MINE] SINCE SHE WAS 8. I THOUGHT ABOUT HOW SHE WOULD FEEL IF IN HER SEARCHING SHE FOUND I WAS DECEASED BY MY OWN HAND. THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT THE FACT THAT I COULD BE KILLED BY ROBBERS, SOMEONE THINKING I WAS A GANG MEMBER, OR WORKING AS A BODYGUARD, SOMEONE WHO DID NOT LIKE THE FACT THAT I WAS BLACK, AND DECIDED WITH SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE WHO MIGHT WANT TO KILL ME - WHY SHOULD I TRY TO KILL MYSELF.

    I AM MASTER BLACK [VISION ISSUES=ALL CAPS]

  • ^^ HAHAHAHA!!!!!
    Better yet, have someone hold a pillow over your face for a very, very long time.
    For realz.

  • I completely undersand if by hardcore you mean dumbass.

  • scream into a pillow when no one is home.
    For realz.

  • i was going to leave helpful adivce but then i saw you spelled "hardcore" with an undeeded, stupid "x".

  • They way to be hardcore is fighting the demon that gives you the urge to cut

  • i listen to music when im feeling depressed. it usually makes you feel so much better

  • try yoga. I just got a wii FIT, and i thought the yoga crap would be stupid, but it really does help me relax and release stress. The deep breathing is the best. It almost gives you a feeling of euphoria or something I can't really explain

  • cutting is not hardore, it's the sissy way out. It's not really dealing with the pain at all. I used to do it. Seeing the blood put me in some kind of high state. Now all I have are scars, and 15 yrs later, I'm still on medication for depression and anxiety. Cutting doesn't help, just really makes things worse. And if poeple see it, they don't think you're a cutter ususally. They mostly think you tried to kill yourself

  • Start a journal, on livejournal.com or blogher.com or something. It sounds silly to write a journal, but it really does help.

  • I used to cut myself. I quit about 10 yrs ago, and I still have the scars. I'm embarrassed to wear short sleeve shirts now because some of the scars are so bad. Sometimes people will see them and they just look at me, never ask what happened. I would lie if they did ask, but it still embarrasses me now, even though I'm in my late 20's

  • Excersize! Cutting is not hardcore, it is actually really p**** s*** to cut yourself.

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