I settled but now have a son
I have an issue with caring about other people, I am in my 30's and I've had this my whole life. I have no interest in others lives or how they feel and obviously this made it difficult to have any kind of relationship. I had a wonderful mother and sister for example, yet have no interest whatsoever in them or their lives. I just seem to lack that part of the brain.
I met my wife, who for whatever reason loves me anyway, I couldn't see any other possibilities and decided to go with it. We got married and are still married 6 years later but I've never cared about or loved her. We had a son, who I absolutely, 100% do care about and love with everything I have. He's a toddler now. To me this is a huge deal, I know that my whole life will be devoted to him.
Within the past few months I have met and again genuinely fallen in love with someone else, she also loves me, a big deal. I can hardly leave my wife and expect to also take my son. So today I stopped talking to probably the only woman I'll ever genuinely love because I can't be away from my son.
I hope she will be happy in the future but right now all I can think about is that I will be living here, unhappily until my son is old enough to fly the nest and I've lost my 1 chance of true happiness. It's taking every effort to not call, beg for forgiveness and start a new life with her.