I dated an idiot, off and on, for over two years. There was never any risk involved in dating him, I could walk away whenever I wanted. He didn't love me, we would say it to each other after a while, but we just weren't right. Since ending that relationship I have met and dated two guys who've made me feel those genuinely infatuated feelings. The first was a musician, very cool guy, but it was long distance and after a short time we realized we weren't compatible enough to make the effort. This second guy is long distance, too, but he's different. I am not blindly in love with him the way I was with the cool musician, I've struggled to love him and want him really badly. The thing is, he doesn't seem to care enough to go out of his way for me. I feel pretty heartbroken and lonely overall.