My friends have less combined emotions than me
I am a 15 year old male and I sometimes wonder if the people I hang out with actually have emotions outside of their basic mood.
I was really sad about losing one of my family members recently and one of my friends was like
"Hey, you don't seem happy"
And I explained to him why I was sad and I said that I stayed with my family member until he died in his hospital bed. He just looked at me really confused and was like "you stayed with him? Hm that's weird" and just moved on.
It's like he actually doesn't understand that I have emotions other than his basic three which are
1. Being annoyingly upbeat
2. B******* about how he doesn't like any of the girls at our school and none of them like him
3. Being really pissy when we do something he doesn't want to do.
Outside of those three, it's like he has never experienced grief or pain or emotional harm, it's like he is a baby, a child. Most of the guys I Han out with agreed with him that, when a girl looks like she is about to cry, you should run away so you don't get involved.
They are so spineless that when faced with someone crying, they actually run away.
I am pretty much the only person from that group of guys that hangs out with also the group of both girls and guys, seeing as I can socialise with both genders easily as I was brought up by my mother and with 2 older sisters.
Anyway, there is a girl in that group who sometimes has panic attacks, and I try to be there for her as I have them as well and I don't want people to feel like that. After a recent attack on her part, I missed out on an entire science period which was spent by the rest of the class studying for an assessment, just so that I could stay with her and be someone to talk to completely by my own free will!
After that she has pretty much been avoiding me completely, which really hurts me, I mean, I was literally the ONLY person from the ENTIRE CLASS of 35 students that went out of the class to be there for her. Of course all her friends came out afterwards and got her bags for her and gave her hugs and she hugged them back she said thanks for their help. Of course, no one said thanks to me! I'm just the dumb male who has no f****** emotions and couldn't have helped at all! I would like some for once, JUST FOR ONCE TO SAY F****** THANK YOU, THAT'S ALL I ASK.
No one said anything to me at all, not even the girl who had a panic attack.
But that wasn't the worst part of this all, no the worst part happened today when I was thinking about my late loved one and I started to have an emotional breakdown in the very same science class. And guess what happened?
If you were guessing that someone came out to help or that the girl was there for me, then your f****** wrong. People saw me almost falling over from crying as I left the room, they were pretty f****** quiet as I left. But I was still left to cry to myself alone, with no one around and no one coming. They F****** LEFT ME OUT IN THE F****** CORRIDOR.
And no one asked me if I was all right later. No one got my bag for me, no one even got me a single f****** tissue. They all either completely ignored me, or were like
"Oh what are doing out here?" Like they were accusing me of wagging class.
Are they really that inept at dealing with people that actually have emotions? Or are they just thinking
'Eh, he's male, he can suck it up'