I despise my wife

When we got married, I knew that she wasn't the belle of the ball, but I thought she was attractive enough and believed she would be a good partner. Since then, she's guilted me into two kids, become an alcoholic, lost all signs of ambition, and turned into an overweight b**** who literally appears to become less intelligent every day. I love my kids, but hate being a parent. I love them so much, in fact, that I've chosen to suffer through a marriage with my insufferable wife rather than not be a part of their lives. This choice is turning me into a horrible, angry, ugly person. Still, I'm terrified to walk away. I don't know how being divorced could be any better. I'd be broke, paying child support and alimony because she's so f****** lazy that she can't figure out how to get a job, living in a s*** studio apartment in this over priced f****** city, and then not able to experience the kids at all.

Maybe a short walk on the train tracks is the best answer.

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  • So why don't you try to reform your wife. Here's how: go to couples therapy or go Alanon for yourself and Alcholics Anonymous for your wife. Start walking with her to help her lose weight and encourage her to get into therapy in order to regain herself. From there she should begin to improve to the point where you can see some of the old her. If none of this works, go to therapy for yourself and stick it out the best way possible. Good luck.

  • No, you can't leave your kids! You can either A.) Leave her - but before you do, get evidence of her alcoholism for court - just remember you may have joint custody and the kids should be your first concern. B.). Have an affair with someone who can help you enjoy life and help you release all of your anger

  • Tough situation where no one is really the winner. Sounds like your wife is just very depressed and alcoholism keeps her down. And maybe in her eyes, you're not the best partner - so you two may dislike different things about each other but sounds like you're both miserable. And if you despise her the conversations in your home are probably not pleasant. If you stay or if you go, it's the children who ultimately suffer. You and your wife are adults. You can move forward, but it's the children who suffer. We all model our own relationships by what our parents display. You are setting an example for how a relationship works. It's how you talk with one another (or maybe it's yell), it's affection, it's thoughtfulness etc. So watch how you and your wife talk with one another. Don't let them see you fight. And if you divorce, that will be hard financially but if you are not getting along, that may be for the best. Suicide is definitely not the answer. That would be devastating. Maybe your first step is just to go to counseling. Maybe it's not about getting back together, but figuring out how to coparent and live together until something else can be arranged. But maybe what your wife needs to work on is getting healthy. She won't lose weight or feel good about herself until she puts down the bottle and deals with depression. Regardless of how you feel about her - could you support her. And maybe there are things you could work on as well. Because no one is perfect in a relationship. It takes two, so own your part and work on you.

  • It might be better if you separated, took the kids and perhaps she would find another drunk like her. I had problems with my ex-wife too but thank god we had no kids.

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