What to you do when there's no room for honesty?

Before I was with my boyfriend, I was very flirty, and chased by a lot of men. Some of them are persistent, and still attempt to contact me. At first I'd go along with it at the distance since I loved the attention, but as the relationship got more serious, and my boyfriend expressed his discomfort, I stopped.
Well, sometimes these men still come out of their shadows, particularly during inconvenient times when my boyfriend isn't around since he's really busy, and it causes problems. I normally don't think much of it because I don't entertain the idea nor do I give them much energy, but to my boyfriend it is a huge deal, especially when I don't tell him the moment it happens. But it's just not something I think about when we are spending time together, I'm thinking about him and US. There's never a good time to tell him these things because when we are together, he is talking the whole time. So in the end, he thinks I'm being shady and dishonest.
Somehow he doesn't understand that though and I don't know how else to get him to understand. I've taken it upon me to personally reach out to these guys and set boundaries saying it isn't appropriate since I have a boyfriend, something they already knew. I told my boyfriend, and guess what? He's upset.
What am I supposed to do?

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  • It sounds like he's very insecure. If he doesn't/can't/won't trust you, then you need to decide if he's the right man for you, or if this relationship is in your best interest. Also, you may be one of those rare and wonderful women who need more than one man to satisfy her, sexually, emotionally or romantically. And if that's the case, then this guy is definitely not right for you: you will need to find a man who can accept his role in your life and not freak if you spend time with other men. But in any event, don't let ANY man define your place in your life. YOU do that yourself, and if a man can't accept it, well......hasta la vista baby.

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