Am confused?

I have a bf for the last 3 years.
We live together for two of those and get along great, last winter he proposed to me.

I cheated on him in our first few moths togethr. I told him last year that i kissed someone else, didnt tell him the rest. I was expecting him to flip out but he didnt. He got very ** and we had some great ** chatting about it. Then he got weird. Now he talks about that when he is drunk and **. I go along with the fantasy. I tries to convince him to hit a swingers club but he did not want to.
I tried chatting up other guys but he got jealous.
I am confused how to proceed, for the last few weeks i met a guy and we flirted a bit.
Today we went out and i told him where i go, he got jealous. He is really hot and i really want him, but i dudnt do anything because i do not want to loose my fiance.

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This happened when I was twelve and now I'm sixtynine

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