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For those who have had to do the impossible
I just watched the mini-documentary on Malcom Brenner called "Dolphin Lover" and there is a scene where he tried to hold back tears after asking to re-tell how his dolphin lover died. She commuted suicide after he left and that moment, that moment when he tries to hold back the tears. That moment broke my heart.
The same feeling has happened before, when my father had to speak at his brother's funeral and he held back the tears. I hadn't cried until that moment. Not until that moment when I saw my dad try to hold back tears; it crushed my heart, it felt like I had been punched.
I have had to hold back the tears on some occasions so that others can focus on their own sorrows and not on mine. I think that's why mourners hold back their tears. It isn't because they don't want to look weak. It's because they don't want others to feel like they new to comfort them.
Anyone who has had to hold back the tears, those are people to look up to.
They have had to do the impossible.
They have had not cry so that people would comfort each other and not them. So that other people would feel better, but the person who had to hold back the tears get no love or comfort at all.
I will say something to those people.
I am crying for you right now. At this moment in time, I will comfort you, I will cry for you so that you can have the courage to do the impossible when the need arises.
I am your comfort. Cry in your own time, but don't you ever, EVER, feel like you are alone because you aren't. I am right here for you now so we can cry together and you can feel better for it.
Gross dolphin **