I hate being a dad

I've never liked it. It's 1% happy, 99% torment. I'm normally a calm, good-natured, fun loving, dedicated, loyal, honest person. Now I'm a j***. My kids are 17 and 15. I can't remember the last 17 years. It's a blur of s***, p***, bills, arguments, pain, torment, second-guessing, neurotic fits.
My daughter is a b****, my son a lazy smart-ass s*******. Neither one of them respects me. Getting them to do something is like trying to get a donkey to explain physics.
They've made me a worse person, not a better person. Always irritated, bored, constant feeling of suffocation coupled with general impotence. I hate animals and people now. Use to be outgoing and have pets. Now nothing.
The worst things they've experienced are me. I've become a total a******, have no friends, don't even want friends, can't stand women, don't even want a woman. I was liberal, now I want to kill everybody and take everything for myself at my own pleasure for my own happiness. (Don't worry, probably not psychotic...yet)
Being around my daughter has almost always being draining. Never uplifting, never a hallmark f****** moment. Just tortuous. Baruka Salt is a nicer person than this little pile of crap called daughter. I cuss around her, scowl, now I'm throwing s***. I'd rather a self-righteous gay man read his personal ass love stories to me than hang out with my daughter.
My son has green teeth but according to him every single damn time I ask, he's brushed his teeth real good. He throws away every opportunity, leaves the stove on, doesn't pick up a darn thing and acts like I'm some weird a****** for asking him to throw his paper plate away or pick the moldy spoon off his floor. He's cynical and talks politics incessantly but doesn't do a f****** thing to improve anything around him. He's anti-religious, watches smart ass youtube videos and thinks that it's philosophy. He waits for his mom to offer him b*** milk and caress his forehead rather than doing something for himself. He half a**** everything and eats not by biting into things but by squeezing food with his lips until it breaks apart. It's like watching someone with a lisp trying to say silly snakes. I want to slap him and say, what the f***'s wrong with you?
Arghghhhhhhhh>>>>What the f*** is wrong with me? I've haven't had one f****** normal day since 1999. Not one. Not once has there ever been a, hey sweeties let's go to the ice cream parlor and take a stroll by the river. Okay dad, sounds great. Nope, not from my two spoiled pieces of crap. It's always a struggle. No wonder the ex spent damn near every night out drinking. I wish I would have. But no. Dumbass me stayed home cleaning and cooking and watching the kids. Now I sleep on a p*** stained mattress in the living room of a two bedroom apartment so my little angels can have their own rooms. I eat outdated food from the poor white trash grocery store while they eat organic, fresh, descent food. I have nothing. I drive a 10 year old kia rio. The same type of car I had when I was 16. I was a director and would drive into the parking lot at conventions: Lexus's, BMW's, Audi's and me in my f****** Kia, no air, no radio, manual steering, manual shift.
I've given everything to these two little s**** and have nothing. No wife, no savings, no 401k, no nice car, no home, no friends, nothing. Nothing but a g****** guilt complex for not being more patient, kinder.
I have nothing.

Jun 27, 2016

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  • Nature or nurture, doesn't matter. I'm just sorry you had to breed, FOUR effing times, to realize it just isn't your jam. It isn't for most people, but there are those who just have to -have to- HAVE TO bring new lives into the world-- and -then- go "oops." Nothing personal or specific towards you, OP, but I just have to shake my head and laugh derisively every time I hear a tale of buyer's remorse.

    At least people like you have the guts to express it. I think the percentage of regretful miserable breeders is a lot higher, and would be even higher than that if most of them had enough honesty and self-awareness to realize they've made a mistake.

  • Fvck. I meant TWO. TWO effing times. That goes beyond typo, so I'll blame it on the beer. D@mn tasty IPA, I recommend it. No regrets!

  • Omg! Right. I have four children - and from age 13 to 18 - I've f****** hated ALL OF THEM!!!!! Today - the oldest is a respectful pilot who does not want kids (smart guy), the second is a great guy, whilst also a super lazy smart ass (strage combo, I know), and tbe third boy is an undirected, yet loveable sort. My daughter - still 15 is a complete f****** b****. Omg, such a b****. Please kill me know sort of b****. I f****** FEEL YOUR PAIN. I've hated all of these f****** between 13 and 18. My oldest gives me the most hope. But my biggest hope is that the last three will simply move the f*** out. Fml, too.

  • Missed fixing some of my grammar before posting. Oops.

  • You obviously didn't raise them right. Because you don't love them right. So of course they aren't going to respect you. Don't blame your kids for being the way they are. They didn't ask for an a****** to bring them into the world who never wanted kids in the first place. You're the only one to blame. You could have avoided it.

  • Do you live in AZ?

  • You don't really mean it. :-)

  • Your writing style is awesome; I wish you had a weekly column. I laugh every time I read this

  • Look on the bright side. In three more years you can kick the last one to the curb and get back to being whatever you were before you were a dad. Also, anyone who blames you 100% for how those kids turned out hasn't had kids. Yeah, parents have a huge effect on their kids, but some of that is hard-wired too.

  • True, my child was absolutely born with her personality... kids can't be custom designed like people think.

  • Your problem is you. You're a s*** father that raised brats. You blame your pathetic life on them but it's all your doing. Stop whining you moron.

  • Stfu. You probably don't even have kids.

  • Well, as breeders love to say, "YOU WERE A CHILD ONCE!!!" What, that only applies to situations where you can maintain the self-righteous high road? How about YOU stfu.

  • Your life sucks and its f****** hilarious. If I was you I'd intentionally give the kids food poisoning, burn or sell all their stuff, and if they give you lip beat the s*** out of them with a sack of oranges until they beg you to stop and then hit them some more, but you sound like a little b**** so your not going to do anything but take it like the b**** you are.

  • Lol....i bet you beat off while reading about other people's misery. But probably can't keep it hard long enough to finish.

  • Damn, I'm sorry but I actually laughed out loud a couple of times. Green teeth got me good. I totally feel your pain, my car is 15 years old and after I did the breaks the stupid mechanic tells me I need wheel bearings, which they supposedly replaced last year - big lie there. I can't afford it right now so im driving real slow. All alone, don't date (what for). At least your son doesn't talk about 50 cent every minute. Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone in this struggle! I hope things improve for you greatly and some goodness comes your way!

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