I hate being a dad
I've never liked it. It's 1% happy, 99% torment. I'm normally a calm, good-natured, fun loving, dedicated, loyal, honest person. Now I'm a j***. My kids are 17 and 15. I can't remember the last 17 years. It's a blur of s***, p***, bills, arguments, pain, torment, second-guessing, neurotic fits.
My daughter is a b****, my son a lazy smart-ass s*******. Neither one of them respects me. Getting them to do something is like trying to get a donkey to explain physics.
They've made me a worse person, not a better person. Always irritated, bored, constant feeling of suffocation coupled with general impotence. I hate animals and people now. Use to be outgoing and have pets. Now nothing.
The worst things they've experienced are me. I've become a total a******, have no friends, don't even want friends, can't stand women, don't even want a woman. I was liberal, now I want to kill everybody and take everything for myself at my own pleasure for my own happiness. (Don't worry, probably not psychotic...yet)
Being around my daughter has almost always being draining. Never uplifting, never a hallmark f****** moment. Just tortuous. Baruka Salt is a nicer person than this little pile of crap called daughter. I cuss around her, scowl, now I'm throwing s***. I'd rather a self-righteous gay man read his personal ass love stories to me than hang out with my daughter.
My son has green teeth but according to him every single damn time I ask, he's brushed his teeth real good. He throws away every opportunity, leaves the stove on, doesn't pick up a darn thing and acts like I'm some weird a****** for asking him to throw his paper plate away or pick the moldy spoon off his floor. He's cynical and talks politics incessantly but doesn't do a f****** thing to improve anything around him. He's anti-religious, watches smart ass youtube videos and thinks that it's philosophy. He waits for his mom to offer him b*** milk and caress his forehead rather than doing something for himself. He half a**** everything and eats not by biting into things but by squeezing food with his lips until it breaks apart. It's like watching someone with a lisp trying to say silly snakes. I want to slap him and say, what the f***'s wrong with you?
Arghghhhhhhhh>>>>What the f*** is wrong with me? I've haven't had one f****** normal day since 1999. Not one. Not once has there ever been a, hey sweeties let's go to the ice cream parlor and take a stroll by the river. Okay dad, sounds great. Nope, not from my two spoiled pieces of crap. It's always a struggle. No wonder the ex spent damn near every night out drinking. I wish I would have. But no. Dumbass me stayed home cleaning and cooking and watching the kids. Now I sleep on a p*** stained mattress in the living room of a two bedroom apartment so my little angels can have their own rooms. I eat outdated food from the poor white trash grocery store while they eat organic, fresh, descent food. I have nothing. I drive a 10 year old kia rio. The same type of car I had when I was 16. I was a director and would drive into the parking lot at conventions: Lexus's, BMW's, Audi's and me in my f****** Kia, no air, no radio, manual steering, manual shift.
I've given everything to these two little s**** and have nothing. No wife, no savings, no 401k, no nice car, no home, no friends, nothing. Nothing but a g****** guilt complex for not being more patient, kinder.
I have nothing.