Sometimes I Just Need A Hug
I am the world's friend. No seriously, if you put me in a crowd of people, I'm bound to make them all laugh. I mean, that's what I live for. Making people laugh.
But unfortunately, you can't forge very strong relationships when you're in middle school through humor. You're good for maybe a laugh or two, everyone will tell you that they love you, and that you should get together with them sometime. However in the end, that's about it. You don't actually get together with them and hang out. Sometimes I feel like a class clown... But then again, I kind of am. I'm a liar clown who is both lonely and surrounded by friendly peers at the same time.
Sounds ridiculous, right?
I can laugh and smile. H***, that's what I do best! And most of the time, I don't even fake it! I'm living in the moment!
But after 5th grade, my two closest friends and I split up. We're going to three separate middle schools now and getting by just fine. Just fine... Just fine. Just fine. Just fine. Just fine. It's okay that I'm the only one with fears and worries. Both of them have their little groups or "fams". But that's okay. I have people I talk to too. I don't eat lunch with them though and I don't spend my days off with them... But I'm doing just fine too!
I'm horrible though. To be confessing about something like this... Please let me wallow in self-pity for just a moment. I know my situation is a lot better than most people's... But I still feel crappy and I don't think comparing myself to others will change anything.
And yet I still do it.
Recently my friends from my old school got in contact with me. But they only ever talk about their new friends. That's cool. They want to get together sometime.... And yet they ignore my texts.
Can someone just pixel hug me? Or maybe I can pixel hug you. Because no one else is going to without thinking I'm odd. And my family won't either because I don't want to get them involved in my petty problems.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it ?