My Husband

He's out of control. He blames me for everything, he has a major anger issue, and although he's never laid a hand on me, I'm worried that he'll punch my house into oblivion. As that suggests, there isn't one wall in my house that doesn't have a hole or dent in it. I'm embarrassed to have people over because of it, and because he'll always want to start an argument in front of an audience.
We've been fighting non-stop for a month now. When he argues with me, i try to keep calm. But no matter how soft my voice is, or what point i make, he ends up shouting and making a scene. Even when i agree with him, he finds an issue! The yelling, screaming over stupid s***, and destructive behavior has gotten to the point to where my neighbors are asking me if I'm all right.
I want to divorce, but he won't go through with it. I've also tried to leave him many times, but he manages to get me to stay by breaking down into tears, or telling me that he'll seek help. He seeks help for a week, and then starts to complain about me to the therapist. Eventually, the therapist wants to talk to me too, where i basically tell him/her what's really happening.
I feel like I'm stuck. When i call the police, they side with him because he's in the army (or because he's a guy. Who the h*** knows?), and they ask me to stay in a hotel until 'everything settles down'. This has happened 5 times over the coarse of 3 years, and i can't take this anymore. I can't take him, the screaming, the blaming, or the damn neighbors that are ready to make noise complaints.
I bought tickets to London, and intend to use them in two days. I hope i can get a fresh start and maybe find someone else. Wish me luck.


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  • Good Luck

  • Leave now. Don't ask. Don't discuss. GO!

    IF [visualize 'IF' in 200 font print] at some point down the road [i.e. after a few years] he has achieved long-term functional normalcy, AND you still want him, THEN consider if you want to get together with him.

    Bottom line for the foreseeable future:

    You're seeing mental illness. This boy needs a full, psychiatric examination.

    Good luck. You're going to need it.

    PS: You really do need to 'GO NOW.'

    PPS: Have the cops [miscreants to be sure] seen the holes in the walls?

    PPPS: Did I mention that you really, really need to go?

  • ^All of this!^

    Agree... cops being helpful in any way? Yeah right. Those aren't THEIR walls and hubby is probably just smart enough to not create a new hole while they're right there watching, which is the only way they'd take action in regards to it.

    But give one of those cowards-with-badges so much as a side-eye-- ha, not even that much-- and watch the show as the strutting and threats of arrest commence! Useless idiots.

  • Yes, the cops have seen the holes in the walls. They're kind of impossible to miss...
    Thank you for your advice. I sincerely appreciate it :)

  • Calling the cops over him beating the walls up is extremely immoral if you actually feel in danger just leave get him to pay for drywall damage thats it....

  • I can see why you think someone punching holes in every wall is no big deal, seeing as how you're a dedicated window licker. Be quiet and let the adults handle this.

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