He's out of control. He blames me for everything, he has a major anger issue, and although he's never laid a hand on me, I'm worried that he'll punch my house into oblivion. As that suggests, there isn't one wall in my house that doesn't have a hole or dent in it. I'm embarrassed to have people over because of it, and because he'll always want to start an argument in front of an audience.
We've been fighting non-stop for a month now. When he argues with me, i try to keep calm. But no matter how soft my voice is, or what point i make, he ends up shouting and making a scene. Even when i agree with him, he finds an issue! The yelling, screaming over stupid s***, and destructive behavior has gotten to the point to where my neighbors are asking me if I'm all right.
I want to divorce, but he won't go through with it. I've also tried to leave him many times, but he manages to get me to stay by breaking down into tears, or telling me that he'll seek help. He seeks help for a week, and then starts to complain about me to the therapist. Eventually, the therapist wants to talk to me too, where i basically tell him/her what's really happening.
I feel like I'm stuck. When i call the police, they side with him because he's in the army (or because he's a guy. Who the h*** knows?), and they ask me to stay in a hotel until 'everything settles down'. This has happened 5 times over the coarse of 3 years, and i can't take this anymore. I can't take him, the screaming, the blaming, or the damn neighbors that are ready to make noise complaints.
I bought tickets to London, and intend to use them in two days. I hope i can get a fresh start and maybe find someone else. Wish me luck.