Confused on Splitting Finances?
I know finances are a touchy subject in relationships. I feel confused by my situation, and am looking to see if this is the standard. I want to be equals in my relationship. Back when my partner and I were boyfriend/girlfriend, we split everything monthly for bills when I moved in with him. He collected all the receipts from dinners, groceries, utilities, and rent and provided me an invoice monthly to divide payment equally. He is very financially sound. I told him the invoice seemed formal, and I trusted him, but he still continued to email me each month. Now we've become engaged and he purchased a home. I've moved in. He did not want my name on the mortgage as we aren't married. We now split the mortgage, home owners insurance, hoa fees, taxes, and all of the other bills, including groceries, and dinners, etc. He has been doing remodeling to the home, adding new countertops and flooring, upgraded appliances and asked me to split home improvements at 50%. I began to feel odd as I have no ownership of the home. I told him I'd feel more comfortable if my name were added to deed since these are very costly improvements. He said we could discuss it after we are married. We've had a few relationship problems, and he said if we split up, he'd refund me some of the money. He said he only wants to do what's fair and we need to be equals. I've purchased the new washer and dryer and helped paint. He said if I don't split the costs of the flooring, appliances, and other home improvements, he is going to increase my rent to cover the costs. I want to do what's right. He said if I were a renter, the monthly fee would be going up, so I need to pay accordingly. I didn't ask for the improvements and feel odd on a house that is not mine, but again, if this is normal, then I will gladly share in the costs.