My parents killed themselves

I was over 20 years ago when I was only a child. My father shot himself through the head. I found his body. My mother indirectly killed herself four years later by overdosing on crack. They made very good role models, didn't they? Everyone thinks I'm so together and level headed but inside I'm totally screwed up. I am empty. I am lonely. I am lost. I am still haunted by my past. I cannot escape it and wonder if like father like son could really be true.

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  • Sorry for your loss and what you've experienced, in your life.
    But your parents, made their choices.Don't follow in their footsteps.Your life is your own!!

    Make the right choices for yourself and stop dwelling/torturing yourself, for nothing.What your parents did, doesn't reflect on you as a person and shouldn't affect your life choices.So why does it and why are you letting it?
    Yes, it's horrific what they did! But as you stated, they weren't in the right mind.Mental instabilities/drugs, can do that to people. They could've made the choice to seek medical help, to kick their drug habits and to help them with their mental health problems, but they chose a different avenue,that's not your fault man, it was theirs!!

    Stop self-doubting and self sabotaging yourself, for choices your parents made.Think about yourself, your life and the choices you make for yourself.
    Don't keep the past alive, when it is dead.You can only focus on living, for today and your future!! :)

    Enjoy your life and live man!!

  • You're right of course. Everything you said. Logically I know all this is true. I just wish I knew how to stop the things I feel inside.

  • Maybe, the way you're thinking about things, in regards to your parents, is influencing your feelings about it. So if you started to reflect of things differently or change the way you perceive things, you may feel differently inside. It takes time - to break a habit of a lifetime, but you can do it!!

    Have self belief my brethren. I don't know you, but I believe you can do it :)

  • Thank you. Your words mean a lot . You ate a very kind person. I hope you're right. At the least I can say I'm still here.

  • One love my brethren :)

  • You need to forget about it make good friends and move on

  • Lots of children of parents that committed suicide wonder if they will eventually do the same thing. I sincerely hope you do not. <3

  • Thanks I hope not too :s

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