My husband doesn't care
My husband and I have drifted apart. We used to be so hot for each other, but since our kids moved out, we're basically just roommates. We occasionally have s**, but only if I initiate it. He just sits in front of the TV and never wants to go out. I started going out without him, and he rarely asks where I'm going or what I'm doing. I still love him and desperately want things the way they used to be. When I first noticed him losing interested I suspected there might be another woman, but there wasn't. I actually wish there was because that would at least mean there's some life left in him. I told him I want to spice things up, and he agreed but never did anything. One day I bent over in front of him while he was slumped on the couch and showed him my freshly shaved p**** from behind. I asked if he liked it, and he just said "uh huh". I said he didn't sound very excited and said he's welcome to choose the other hole if he preferred. I fingered my a****** right in his face. He had hounded me for a*** s** for years, but I never gave in. Now I wanted him to do it more than anything, just to prove he still wanted me. He said, "OK, after this show." I got dressed and left the house, not saying a word. I went to a bar I had been going to by myself for a few months and sat next to an attractive man who was a regular there. He had been know to flirt with me, and was disappointed the first time we met to find out I was married. I reminisced about that first encounter and asked if he was still disappointed. He said yes. I said maybe we could change that. We went back to his place and had the most intense s** I'd had in years. I went back home, and my husband said "Oh, I thought you wanted to have s**." I said don't worry about it. Then I turned to him and asked "Don't you even want to know where I was? Or who I was with?" He wasn't sure what to say. I just said nevermind. I felt guilty, but I wondered if he would even care. I gave him another chance the following night. He walked into the bedroom to find me with a butt plug halfway inserted. I asked him for help. He asked "Now?" "You can't do it now?" I don't know what he was doing that was so important, but he just stood there like an idiot. I rolled off the bed and said "Maybe I'll have to find someone who can." I left to find my lover at the bar and proceeded to have my first a*** experience. It was amazing. The whole time I fantasized about my husband catching me. When I got home, he didn't say a word. I wanted him to get p***** off. I wanted him to know what I did and call me a w****. The next day I bought condoms just so I could "carelessly" leave the receipt on the counter. It had been moved and slightly crumpled, so I know he must have picked it up. But still, not a word. I unrolled one of them and left it in the toilet to look like there had been an attempt to flush it while he was at work. He came home and used the bathroom, but not a f****** word. I had been meeting up with the man at the bar for a few weeks, but made very little effort to not get caught. I actually wanted to get caught. One night when my husband was out of the house, I invited the man over. I told him my husband would be home at 8. I knew damn well he would be home at 7. I made sure that the first thing he would see when he walked through the door was me getting plowed on our living room couch. When he did, he just hung his head and kept walking. He went down to the basement and turned on the TV. I started crying. The man left, and I never saw him again or went back to that bar. I went downstairs and demanded that my husband say something. Get p*****. Or push me down and f*** me himself. He just stood there. I told him to take a good look because it was the last time he would see any of it. And it was. I've been having s** with another man and make very little secret of it. I know our marriage can't go on like this, but I still dream of a day that he comes around.