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Bad Dad
I'm an overwhelmed miserable father of 2. My sons are 3 and 1 respectively and although I'm grateful for them I resent them equally. Oddly if anything were to happen to either of them I'd be devastated yet I do anything to give myself a break from being around them.
I'm 39 and my neighbor once told me, "having children is the hardest thing you'll ever do with no training". The most honest statement anyone could have given me, having kids is thankless, never ending and difficult work with horrible hours, no vacation and they are expensive! Let's be honest; who'd hang out with someone who ** on your wife's **, ** his pants and expects you to feed them and tend to their every need all the while ruining your sleep!
I wasn't prepared, I like order, cleanliness and freedom all of which you need to realize will be lost when you have children. Simply saying, having kids is a great idea if you're more worried about the needs of others and care little about the needs of yourself. That is not a slight, I liked the life I had built for me and my wife, travel, nice things and lots of intimacy all of which no longer exist. Having kids is forever forfeiting your needs for the needs of your kids, the sacrifice is real.
If you were so self-centered why did you bother having kids?, you're not a bad dad but you are going to become one. Not everybody has to have kids, but you have to own up to them, do the best job you can, yes it is frustrating but it is rewarding.
For the record you're not a bad dad....you're just human.
Im a daughter, and seeing a father see this post kinda makes me feel sad that parents actually feel that way. But its parenthood isnt it how it should go? :(
I'm 40 and have had very similar feelings. I try to get away for 1 weekend a year and one 5 day trip to Vegas. you need to go on a bender once and a while to get out your frustratuons. you need time to yourself or your going to kill someone.
Discipline. Actually it sounds like you exude negativity and apathy and indifference. So they take after you.
Teach them obedience and respect.
Had to laugh a little remembering the toddler days. They seemed long back then, now I miss them terribly. I used to have my movies alphabetized in shelves. My child's favorite things to rip out of. He's 15 now, and I have no desire to alphabetize them anymore. I'm still trying to teach him where his laundry basket is. Trust me, It flies by. Please enjoy every minute you can with them. I have friends whose children have passed and they have overwhelming regrets. You and your wife need some occasional alone time yes, but remember, children are a gift of love from god!
I hear and feel this to the core! Sending you well wishes. Good luck.