I feel numb
I feel numb. I almost feel like I am experiencing nothing. Nothing seems real. I can't seem to pick up my school habits. I am never practicing my music yet somehow I am still first chair. I do not get pleasure from anything. Medication, therapy, being surrounded by friends, nothing. Nothing makes me happy. I wish I had the guts and the privacy to self harm. I already starve myself and inflict bruises onto my body but it just doesn't seem like enough. I am always being rejected. No one seems to care about me. None of my friends seem fazed by my depression, and they seem to care about others more. I wish I could just vanish.......vanish into thin air. I'm too scared to make myself go away. Would anyone care if I was gone? Or would they just shrug their shoulders? All I ever seem to do is make people annoyed from my stupidity. I want to run away and never return. I want to get run over by a car or get kidnapped, or get murdered. I can't handle the pressures of life and the fact that life hates me.