Knocked up my neighbour

This is not a s** story, but its true.

When I was living in Jersey, the apartment opposite mine was occupied by a woman who was around 35 or 36 and worked in advertising. I was an young guy in my first job, and we were friendly, but not particularly close. She was a bit overweight and worked as a legal clerk.

One day she just knocked on my door looking a bit flustered. She said her freezer was not working and she needed to store something at my place ASAP. She told me it was a prescription medicine she had to keep cool, and she'd come back to take it once hers was ready. I said sure, no problem and took a paper bag sealed with tape that seemed to have a pill box inside.

As luck would have it, a couple of hours while getting my own dinner, I knocked against the package and it fell. When I went to pick it up, it seemed wet. Realized the case must have burst and thinking I might have to pay 100s of $s, I scooped it up in my hands and tried to put it on a plate. It was about 30 seconds before it hit me - this is congealed sperm.

We will skip over the nausea and hand washing parts. After cleaning up I read the container and saw it was from a sperm bank for self fertilization (like with a turkey baster). I felt a bit sorry about my neighbor, but was nervous about getting caught. So...I jacked off into the container, resealed it up in a fresh bag with tape and put it innocently into the freezer.

I just ignored her for a couple of weeks, then she later happily tells me shes pregnant. I smiled and congratulated her, and quickly found another job in another city before things got complicated. No idea where she and the kid are now, but I wonder about them sometimes.

May 17, 2017

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  • Like the movie "don't breathe" the blind guy takes his sample out of the freezer n grabs a turkey Baster put 2 n 2 together, this post is a lie and I agree with the commentor calling bull

  • How would it spill if it is congealed/frozen? I am going to call bull on this one.

  • Bingo. Like me, you must be in the front row.
    Furthermore, the "accident", discovery, clean up, & fix was too smooth like in a movie. We all know that in the real world, nothing is that simple ; there is always more to it. Dude didn't hide what the gal would have had questions over. It's never that simple. He's bluffing ; call him out on it. Liar's Poker anyone??

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