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I dont like my grilfriend's son
I've been living with my girlfriend for the past year. Her son (6) comes during the week, sometimes 3 or 4 days a week. . My girlfriend is 28 and I'm 30 and I come from a 8 year long relationship but i gotta say i do love this woman but unfortunately i do not like her kid, in fact i don't think i like kids at all.
He is spoiled and cries when things don't go his own way. he wants to stay up late, he cries, he doesnt like the food, he cries, he wants to play something but he cant, he cries, he doesnt like his clothes, he cries. He is incredibly attached to his mom, which i think is normal, sorta, i mean he is 6 ,right? but Sometimes he comes and tries to stay in bed with both of us and when that happens i just go stone cold and get in a very bad mood. i dont like the boy. but i love the mom. i enjoy her way too much.
i dont want to finish this relationship but it feels that's where this is going because of my dislike towards the boy.
When situations like these arise, I try to reflect on how I was when i used to be that age. Then i realized that i was just as "spoiled" and a "crybaby". The boy is six. And if you are thinking about ending a relationship just because a six year old child is acting like he should be, then maybe you are not prepared for a serious relationship.
You know... i think i might not be prepared for one. Still deciding
Grilfriend lol wtf?
Hahaha had to type pretty fast
Get another girlfriend because if its a choice between you or the child she'll get rid of you.
Which makes her a great parent
True. i know.
i might just finish the relationship and travel for a while by myself.
He's always going to be a "Momma's Boy." That said, you can add some discipline in his life, while also showing that you love and care for him. Do some father-type things with him, to get him to bond to you. I get that you don't like kids, but you need to make an effort to teach him how to be a man without being punitive, but supportive. Kids can get if you don't like them. Do a better job at stepping up and dealing with the situation.
Your girlfriends son is a child. If you love your girlfriend, you should learn to love her child aswell. Her child is a part of her, of her being, her creation and her love. So why not try to love someone, that's part of the woman you love?
Remember, that child was around before you came along, so don't be jealous of him and threatened by the attention his mother gives him when he's around. He's her child and deserves to be showered with love by his mother. So stop being inconsiderate, selfish and spoilt!
The writing is on the wall. In some ways it may be for the best. Especially where her son is concerned. Her son is here to stay. You are a major player in this kid's life whether you want to be or not. Unless you can find a way to bond with him and actually like him, you need to do what's best for the child you need to leave. There isn't a compromise. Unless you agree you are not at her house (you move out) when her child is there. Regardless of if you like kids or not, being in a relationship and just being around this kid impacts who this child is on levels that aren't even apparent right now. You are playing a huge part in his development - How he sees relationships, how he identifies with men as mentors and parents. That kid probably cries because he is bounced from house to house and there are a lot of caretakers but maybe he's really needing attention that neither parent is actually giving to him. He is 6, he probably understands some of what is going on but who knows. Divorce has to be confusing at any age. The bottom line is to do what's best for this child.
I loved your advice. Any form of separation can impact a child, you're right :)