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Why you, why now?
I fell in love with you the first time I saw you at work. I don't know why, but it just happened. You're the girl that everyone told me I would give everything up for when I found her. And here you are.
Never in my life have I felt so vulnerable around someone. Seeing you smile makes my day regardless of how horrid the day might be. I stay up at night sometimes, thinking about you and what kind of future you and I could build. And for the first time in my life, I can see myself getting married and starting a family. After we got to know each other, you told me you had a boyfriend, and that shattered me in a way nothing in my life ever has. This is why I stopped acknowledging all your compliments. Not because I didn't like them, but because I didn't want to get attached to someone who has someone else. I refuse to be the loser who sits out in the proverbial rain and gets nothing but a smile and a hug.
I know that you noticed that I pulled away after that. Please understand that I care for you more than anyone else in my life. But now I also understand what it's like to be emotionally vulnerable and it honestly frightens me. I've always found pride in my financial successes, yet when it comes to you, no amount of money helps me forget you, like I forgot about the other women in my life.
Truth is, I want to take you away from him. I see the way you stare at me when you think I'm not looking. For the first time in my life I am ready to fight for a woman with all the resources available to me, guess I'm just afraid of what might come.
Your boyfriend is a lucky man. He gets to wake up to those beautiful eyes and smile every morning.
I may never tell you in person, so I'll say it here. You're absolutely beautiful, and I love you. I want to marry you and build a future for the both of us, and as much as I hate feeling vulnerable, I'm glad it was you. Thank you for the smiles and the compliments, thank you for sharing your personal stories with me. If the day comes that you and I are together, everything I own well be yours, the houses, the cars, bank accounts, everything. And all I'll ever ask is that I be yours too. I love you, but I don't know why, and quite frankly, I don't care.
I wish I could have said this to the woman I loved, ah ** still love even now. We met at work too, but it was me who was married. She will always be the one. BUt I can only say things like this indirectly, and usually only when Im drunk, like I am right now. As I get older (Im over 50 now) I realize more and more that Im way too far up my own ** to ever say anything like what you said, even though its written on my heart. I'm just to much of a control freak and am too much of a narcissist to ever let other people in.