I hate to say it but I'm not attracted to my girlfriend at all.
Back when we were kids I thought she was the cutest girl in the world and she was smart and we could talk for hours and not have a moment of awkward silence. Life took over and we went to separate schools and such. Marriage to other people and followed by divorce but somehow we found each other again after years apart.
When I first saw her I thought "OH H*** NO!" How could the girl that I thought was perfect, grow into this obese woman. But when we spoke it was like old times. I enjoy her company maybe even more now and we do have s** on occasions, but I'm not attracted to her. I know that I'm shallow for saying this and beauty is only skin deep (or something like that) but I cannot abide a 300lbs smoking woman. It's not attractive on any level. My friends question me on my decision with staying with her. She is always fishing for compliments because she tries to 'look pretty' for me, but honestly I don't see it sometimes. We went to a wedding and she was trying on dresses and asked her mother what was the best look for her and with no spite in her voice at all she replied "If you're going with him nobody will notice you." That hurt even my feelings.
I cheated on her a couple of years ago and got busted and I felt like crap afterwards because I know she loves me wholehearted and I will never find another like that kind of love. But I do have physical needs and I don't want to cheat again and I really do love her and I asked her to change her lifestyle but she refuses. I'm running out of options.