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In my own world
People would say i am on my own world or that i am stupid . I get used to it so much that i can't feel anything . The only thing i like to do is to sit with closed eyes and doing nothing . I like to see my interior self . I like to live in my mind and thinking i fly up to the sky . I like to hear angelic voices and thinking that i fly to the sky . People from here told me to die because they misunderstand me for ** but i didn't feel nothing . Don't worry i want to die anyway but not for the reason you want me to die . Maybe if i was just disappear while sleeping and disappear from the world and people's memory who know me like i had never born . I feel like i am nothing and can't do anything about it than just accept it but i don't know if i ever accept tha fact that i feel i am nothing and other people seem to me like they are something . Tell me egoistic and jealous someone told this to me , i know i am but i don't feel nothing for this either. I kinda understand why some people end up doing drugs or alcohol. They want to get away from the world and from themselves too .
And if you want to drink okay do it but ONLY half glass of wine . Or a small glass of wine .
This is not if i am good mother or not . If i was really your mother i would take all the bottles of alcohol and locked them somewhere that you couldn't take them . Maybe you would hate but it's for own good sweetie and for your health . Alcohol ruin your memory and focus too sweetie and are still develope . Alcohol can ruin your development too . That's why in underage people alcohol is prohibited . Since when do you drink sweetie ?
Im sorry mommy and im in bed and my phone was dead mommy and i fighted with girl again in youth group mommy cause they kept call me names mommy and would not pick me mommy for games. I hate them mommy and a leader brought me home mommy while ago and mom said go straight too bed mommy and shes come up soon mommy and mom never no i drink mommy and drink some vodka and other drink mommy and put water in bottle so mom wont no i took it mommy and you cant take it mommy please cause makes me feel good and not think bad things mommy and mommy i do it lots off times like sometimes 5 times week mommy and im 13 mommy and you realy hide it mommy. It helps me mommy and promise it does mommy and i do it since im 12 mommy. You realy love me mommy and miss you mommy. Its not fair mommy and is it realy realy bad mommy im sorry. Your my real mommy and im realy your baby girl mommy and huggs you mommy xxxxxx
Sweetie please stop drinking . You are addicted . You are so young sweetie . Alcohol it won't bring you happiness trust me . You feel dizzy and you can throw up from alcohol and really drinking can ruin your immune system . If you don't know immune system is the system that it protects you from diseases . So find another way to calm yourself that is harmless . Please sweetie tell me that you don't do drugs too .
But why sweetie this leader doesn't say anything to other kids in youth group ? Hug sweetie . Sometimes angel i fantasize that a nice ,kind ,compassion hug me in her arms . You can think the same sweetie that i hug you too . You are not bad sweetie you are lonely and that's why you drink . But please don't drink anymore it's bad for your health . And i wonder don't you get tired if you are dizzy everyday from alcohol sweetie ? I got tired and decrease alcohol so that i would not dizzy . You are 13 you are a darling you shouldn't drink sweetie . Try to calm with other ways . Hug sweetie .
With your friend are you okay sweetie ?
Please dont leave me mommy and need you mommy and were are you and im your baby girl mommy xxxxxx its not fair mommy
Sorry mommy your baby girl xxxxxx